Advice please re: DS 11yrs

[staypresent]

Ds, yr 7 has been sending blank text messages to two friends at school and to old friends from his primary.

A boy phoned his mobile tonight when ds was out with his dad, asking what the blank messages were about, the same happened last week and ds said it was his younger brother messing about with his phone. But I have checked the phone and found that these calls and messages are made on his bus journey to and from school and sometimes during the lunch-break.

He knows how to text very well to me or his dad. But to these friends they are always blank messages though.

I have asked ds tonight about this but he says the phone is going off in his pocket by mistake... I think he is lying to me. I did tell him that this can be seen as bullying to which he was shocked and upset. He is quite reserved, and I know he lacks confidence in himself.

Any ideas to what is going on? And what I can do for him?

[madrose]

maybe he's hoping they will ring him to say hi, but does't want to seem needy by sending the first message - 'oh that text was an accident, how are you etc'

[ConstanceWearing]

So he is wanting to contact this boy without being seen to be doing it deliberately? Does he have a bit of a hero-worship thing going on, and just want to be his friend, do you think?

[ConstanceWearing]

Oh, I'm so sorry. I should read things properly. It's a fair few numbers he's texting. Do you think he might be very lonely at the mo? He's only just moved up to year 7, I assume, and it can be really hard to make new friends.

[staypresent]

Hi madrose, yes i think that could be it.

The thing is he has sent about twenty blank texts. One boy replied saying 'you didn't write anything down'. Then the other boy sent one saying 'stop it' (that's where it looks like bullying). Those are the only replies he's had. So it doesn't work for him. Explained this to him tonight but he insisted it's going off in his pocket. I could take the phone away for a while? But I really wish he had the confidence to just send a proper message.

[staypresent]

constancewearing, thanks, yes I do think he is lonely which of course can be common in year 7. But he was shy at primary all those years and I really hope it isn't going to be the same at secondary again. This has upset me tonight because I have found a smallish private school particulary for the reasons of him beng shy. Sorry if I'm not making much sense!!

[ButWhyMum]

Bless him, he sounds a little lonely. Give him a year and he'll be chasing the girls around the school playground.