DP is growing increasingly tired of MIL, her not bothering at all with our DC. He used to take DS to MIL's house at least once a month, but she just bitched to everyone that as he only ever went when I wasn't there he was trying to get help with childcare. The reality was I think that he hoped her lack of interest in our children stemmed from her dislike of me. Unfortunately it has now become apparent to him it her lack of love for him. She is openly negative and critical of our DC over her other grandchildren who are the same age. DD has only popped by her house once since she was born over a year ago, we've never been invited and given up on 'dropping by' as DP was always made not welcome (eg turning up on mothers day with lovely flowers to be told he couldn't come in).
Basically in some talks we have come to the conclusion that we may just try not to see her after SIL moves away next year (currently she lives around the corner, we leave our house and see MIL's car there (as does nearly 4 yr old DS ) and yet months pass without her seeing our children.
I fell out with her earlier in the year and felt better for not seeing her, although if and when DP saw her he would update me on the negative comments made about DS especially and my blood would boil! I recently saw her again but we do not have a good relationship. She is a very negative lady who has not got good words to say about anyone and fails miserably to see her own hypocrisy.
I think the last straw for DP was her going away to work for DD's 1st birthday and his father not bothering to drive 5 mins up the ring road to see her either. Oh, and for those who say she had to work, they are mortgage free on a £60k salary from FIL alone. And sent DD's gift via SIL rather than come before/after to see her.
Anyway, enough about her. I am concerned that her negative attitudes and difference in the way she treats her grandchildren could upset and hurt my DC. I was an only child and an only grandchild so I don't know if I am being oversensitive about this. Therefore I'd really appreciate anyone sharing how things were for them when they grew up with cousins etc.
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Relationships
I'd be interested to know if any of you had negative relationships with your grandparents - did it affect you?
5 replies
Flossish · 08/10/2008 21:34
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