Does relationship counselling work?

[missbumpy]

It's a long story and I won't bore you with the ins and outs of it but I'm finding my relationship with my DP increasingly rocky. It's been a tough year. We've got financial worries, housing worries, work worries, an 8mo baby, and I feel totally unsupported and like I'd be better off without him. The physical side of our relationship is non-existent and, even though I find him good looking, I'm not sure how much I actually fancy him anymore. I think I might have lost respect for him

Anyway, the long and the short of it is that I would have walked away from this relationship ages ago if it weren't for the fact that we've got a baby together. For the sake of our DD I feel I have to try to make it work. I've tried talking to him lots of times but it never seems to get us anywhere and I always end up either angry or in tears.

I'm thinking about going to Relate or something like that but I don't know whether it's the right thing to do or whether relationship counselling actually works for anyone. Do any MNers have experience of counselling sorting out a rubbish relationship? Please give me some hope!

[CountessDracula]

I think if you are both prepared to go and work at it, it can work wonders.

[girlnextdoor]

Relationship counselling can work, but it won't "fix" anything if the feelings have well and truly gone. It's not a magic wand. It might help you to see him and your relationship in a different way, and it might also give you the courage to leave if that's the direction you eventually choose.

[missbumpy]

thanks. is it free?

[forevercleaning]

relate is not free

[meglet]

its about £45 a session, but you should be able to get a few quid off if you have money problems.

We went for a while this year. Our relationship had deteriorated to utter crap and DP even stormed out of one session and was thrown out the house for 6 weeks.

Then everything started to improve. While things are far from 100% happy we do seem to be able to muddle through and talk a bit more than before.

If your DP is 'happy' to go then it might just help. Mine did not want to go, but I think he realised I was right and we needed it .

[TLV]

Having been to relate (get the right counsellor and they are fab) its worked for dh and I, we had split and almost divorced and its repaired our relationship, agree that if you are both prepared to do it then it can work. Go to your GP as they offer relate there and you can get around 6 sessions free

good luck

ps meglet my dh also stormed out of a session, was very

[Mercedes]

My dp and I went to relate to help us manage our break up after 10 years together. Somehow the sessions turned into keeping us together and working on our problems. The end result we decided to stay together and our relationship was really good.
10 years after the relate session we're still together - our relationship isn't as great as it was then but i blame the pressures of having a child and gettinh enough sleep.

Go for it its worth it.