So we've got a 6 week old boy who's lovely in every way but bloody hell this having a baby lark is harder than I thought. The birth was horrendous, at first I thought I would NEVER have another baby because I didn't handle the pain well at all and the hospital were disasterous.
Then three weeks later I had a little accident with the minipill which involved not taking it at the right times and being on antibiotics. So we wondered if I might be pregnant.
Then yesterday I had such an awful sickness bug I was sick 8 times in the morning, was faint and dizzy and week, which all stopped after lunch.. much like my old morning sickness.
So we decided we'd do a test and so we discussed it before hand. In all honesty, he was very smiley, like properly struggling not to smile, and said if I'm pregnant I'm pregnant, he'd be happy about it etc etc. Which I found weird because a) I'm a bitch when I'm pregnant and it makes me boring and fed up and self involved and snappy and horrendous. B)We're getting married abroad in 12 months and I want to be back to a size 10 for then (having the baby has oleft me size 18 with a wrinkley tummy and I'm on a serious diet). So I said I'd be really upset if I was pregnant as it would ruin the wedding and we've not much money as it is with having a newborn,and I'd be extra fat. But he totally disagreed.
The thing thats upset me is, when I did the test, I started secretly hoping it was positive. I don't know why! I've not recovered well from the birth or anything. But I was sort of hoping for a positive. He was smiling like mad when I did the test and I said 'looks good so far' and he said 'what?!' and beamed at me. So I said 'Yep it's looking negative'.
THAT is when I saw it. His face dropped, his smile went, and he looked all glum. He forced a smile for me and didn't say anything. So I said 'phew. Don't you pretend you're not relieved'. He just said 'if you were pregnant you were pregnant. I would have been happy.'
So then I felt all bad because I could tell he secretly wanted me to be, and he's so lovely and loving.
But it would sort of ruin our wedding.
The thing is, I'm booked in to get the coil in 2 weeks... so... what do I do?
Also, he's always said he wants 2 kids and I've always said 3 or 4. He said he doesn't want to bring kids up that have to struggle for money, he wants to be able to give them the best. But now he's just got himself a good job. Last night he mentioned having a 3rd baby!
So it's all changing.
I just wanted a natter about it really. I can't tell anyone else as they'll think I'm crazy.
Anyone?
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I reckon DP wants another baby. We have a 6 week old. But I want to be thin for our wedding. Superficial and not too pressing, but come join me for a natter.
19 replies
Kaedsmum · 24/06/2008 12:04
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themildmanneredjanitor ·
24/06/2008 12:10
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littlelapin ·
24/06/2008 12:10
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