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Relationships

I reckon DP wants another baby. We have a 6 week old. But I want to be thin for our wedding. Superficial and not too pressing, but come join me for a natter.

19 replies

Kaedsmum · 24/06/2008 12:04

So we've got a 6 week old boy who's lovely in every way but bloody hell this having a baby lark is harder than I thought. The birth was horrendous, at first I thought I would NEVER have another baby because I didn't handle the pain well at all and the hospital were disasterous.

Then three weeks later I had a little accident with the minipill which involved not taking it at the right times and being on antibiotics. So we wondered if I might be pregnant.

Then yesterday I had such an awful sickness bug I was sick 8 times in the morning, was faint and dizzy and week, which all stopped after lunch.. much like my old morning sickness.

So we decided we'd do a test and so we discussed it before hand. In all honesty, he was very smiley, like properly struggling not to smile, and said if I'm pregnant I'm pregnant, he'd be happy about it etc etc. Which I found weird because a) I'm a bitch when I'm pregnant and it makes me boring and fed up and self involved and snappy and horrendous. B)We're getting married abroad in 12 months and I want to be back to a size 10 for then (having the baby has oleft me size 18 with a wrinkley tummy and I'm on a serious diet). So I said I'd be really upset if I was pregnant as it would ruin the wedding and we've not much money as it is with having a newborn,and I'd be extra fat. But he totally disagreed.

The thing thats upset me is, when I did the test, I started secretly hoping it was positive. I don't know why! I've not recovered well from the birth or anything. But I was sort of hoping for a positive. He was smiling like mad when I did the test and I said 'looks good so far' and he said 'what?!' and beamed at me. So I said 'Yep it's looking negative'.

THAT is when I saw it. His face dropped, his smile went, and he looked all glum. He forced a smile for me and didn't say anything. So I said 'phew. Don't you pretend you're not relieved'. He just said 'if you were pregnant you were pregnant. I would have been happy.'

So then I felt all bad because I could tell he secretly wanted me to be, and he's so lovely and loving.

But it would sort of ruin our wedding.

The thing is, I'm booked in to get the coil in 2 weeks... so... what do I do?

Also, he's always said he wants 2 kids and I've always said 3 or 4. He said he doesn't want to bring kids up that have to struggle for money, he wants to be able to give them the best. But now he's just got himself a good job. Last night he mentioned having a 3rd baby!

So it's all changing.

I just wanted a natter about it really. I can't tell anyone else as they'll think I'm crazy.

Anyone?

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Tutterotsky · 24/06/2008 12:07

good lord please don't waste any energy worrying about what "size" you are 6 weeks after giving birth

your body has only just recovered

i can't help about timing of babies/weddings but needed to comment on that

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belgo · 24/06/2008 12:08

I was extremely broody in the weeks following giving birth. I think it was to do with the change in hormone levels.

Give yourself a chance to recover from the birth, and enjoy your baby, and look forward to your wedding. And after the wedding you can think about having another one.

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Kaedsmum · 24/06/2008 12:09

Sorry my writing and spelling were terrible throughout the whole post.

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themildmanneredjanitor · 24/06/2008 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

belgo · 24/06/2008 12:10

don't worry about your spelling and typing! you are looking after a six week old baby.

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MrsBadger · 24/06/2008 12:10

belgo is right

why not give yourself a chance to enjoy this baby before thinking of another one?

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littlelapin · 24/06/2008 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kaedsmum · 24/06/2008 12:11

I think you're right Belgo- we were planning to try again as if the night of the wedding. I think we're just broody because this baby's so blardy gorgeous!

Tutter- It just seems like everyone else is a skinny rake after a baby.. like Lisa Scott Lee... then there's me

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belgo · 24/06/2008 12:13

kaedsmum - very few of us are like Lisa scottlee! Your body has done a wonderful thing in producing a gorgeous little baby, now it needs time to get back to normal - or rather a new 'normal'.

You have plenty to look forward to, a wedding, and then more children.

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Sazisi · 24/06/2008 12:15

It's completely natural to feel a teensy bit disappointed at a negative result, no matter how inconvenient it would be to get a positive

Reassure DH with how much fun it will be ttc on your honeymoon

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MrsTittleMouse · 24/06/2008 12:18

If I thought that I was pregnant 6 weeks after giving birth then I would be more worried about having a nervous breakdown than fitting into a wedding dress.
I can remember that feeling of "oh, it's negative" though. It's actually how we decided that we wanted children in the first place and I think that it's a very powerful way to know what you want. What's the rush though? I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing that there's plenty of time to get married and have 1/2/3 more children.

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oopsadaisyangel · 24/06/2008 12:32

Congrats on DS and the wedding!!

I get married in 9 weeks - I fell preganant this time last year and had it all planned that baby would be born beginning of year and i would be nice and thin for the wedding in August!! Needless to say it hasn't gone like that!! DS was stillborn in December and we decided to start trying straight away thinking it would take a while (took over a year with DS2) - I am now 9 weeks pregnant and panicking about fitting into my wedding dress in 9 weeks time Have to be completely honest and say I don't really care - we have another DC on the way and if i get married in a tent then so be it

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Kaedsmum · 24/06/2008 14:52

Thanks for the opinions everyone. It's definately helped me put things into perspective. I think we're just so gooey over each other and the baby and everything at the moment that we've forgotten how much hard work it all is.

Janitor- You're not supposed to have sex for 6 weeks? i got told to have sex and if there's something wrong, let them know at the 6 week check up. Why can't you do it before 6 weeks? Does it mess things up healing wise? I had a 2nd tegree tear aswell.

Belgo- that's a lovely thing to say.

Sazisi- Oh we're defo looking forward to the honeymoon

Tittle- I'm 22 so plenty of time. I think it's just one of those things when you take a test and go 'urgh neg'.

Oopsa- that definately puts things into perspective. I'm sure you'll look beautiful in your dress and congratulations on your pregnancy.

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ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 24/06/2008 15:09

Why don't you agree to start trying on honeymoon if it's what you both want? Honestly, 6 weeks after having a baby is toooo soon! xx

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JessJess3908 · 25/06/2008 00:09

Bless - he's all gooey with love for you and new baby that he is already excited about having another one.

I'm with you though - you deserve your big day. Plus, if you started trying again on honeymoon there would only be 2 yrs between DCs which is a good gap but still considered quite close these days?

Can't believe you've managed a shag already - good for you!

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ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 25/06/2008 07:57

BTW the 6 week advice is out of date. They say wait until you stop bleeding and try to do it before the 6 week check so you can tell the midwife if anything is off.

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rookiemater · 25/06/2008 08:39

Sorry bit of a diversion ...

Has lisa Scott Lee had a baby, I'm a bit out of touch with things these days, I thought she had just split up with her partner ?

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JessJess3908 · 25/06/2008 17:11

Yeah she had a baby and lost 5 stone to fit back into her steps nurses outfit- as you do when you're a permatanned celeb.

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Kimi · 25/06/2008 17:17

thinking of having another baby 6 weeks after the first one.... I did not let DH near me for 6 months

Enjoy your lovely new baby and don't worry about not being a size 0 10 minuets after giving birth

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