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need to get out of this hellhole :(

21 replies

nappyaddict · 22/06/2008 11:55

Some of you will know the realationship with my mum is somewhat strained. I just tried to approach a discussion about board again and it turned into her screaming at me in less than a minute. I think that's got to be a record.

I mentioned that I'd been told cos she's not the main carer for ds now I'm not at uni I'm not even sure it's legal. Apparently it doesn't matter that my situation has changed cos I signed it over to her and that's that and she rang up to check. All this could be a bunch of lies though. I know she gets £120 a week tax credits yet she reckons she doesn't even get £50 a week. That would be true if she didn't get WTC but I know she does. If she didn't have responsibility for ds I don't think she would get WTC as an adult cos I think you have to work 30 hours a week. Is that correct?

I'm just so fed up of this Really hoping I get somewhere soon but it's doubtful as I only have 77 points.

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nappyaddict · 22/06/2008 12:26

is no one there

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notjustmom · 22/06/2008 12:29

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fawkeoff · 22/06/2008 12:30

oh sweetie i am here

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themildmanneredjanitor · 22/06/2008 12:31

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fawkeoff · 22/06/2008 12:32

you can rent privately....get a budgeting loan for the months rent and the council will help you towards the bond.
if you dont want to go down that route then you should phone the CAB and see what your rights are......you need to move out and be on your oen with your son. I think it is appauling that she is using her daughter and grandchild for financial gain .

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fawkeoff · 22/06/2008 12:33

I actually think that you should ring the benefits agency up and let them know what is going on,,,,i cannot believe that you are in this position.

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nappyaddict · 22/06/2008 12:40

i wish i hadn't been so naive and signed it over to her. now to get it back she has to sign it over to me which she won't do until i move out. she knows i can't move out because i can't afford it unless she writes me an eviction letter and then i'll get a council house quite quickly. last time i checked i wouldn't get that much housing benefit towards the rent and the cheapest private rent seems to be about £500 a month. council houses are only about £280 which i could afford.

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nappyaddict · 22/06/2008 12:43

do the benefits people deal with tax credits? i thought that was someone else or are they all connected? i'm trying to get this all sorted out without involving them cos the last thing i want is her in prison. as you can see i'm in a very difficult position. every time i bring it up we row, i cry, she cries, a couple of hours later i'm still crying on and off and then she hugs me and i say so will you sign it over, she says i'll think about it and then the next time i bring it up we have the same thing all over again.

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notjustmom · 22/06/2008 12:43

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notjustmom · 22/06/2008 12:45

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NotDoingTheHousework · 22/06/2008 12:46

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nappyaddict · 22/06/2008 12:50

probably not. with tips i get quite a lot per hour. i have applied for another job for when they start recruiting cos once i move out i will need a daytime job.

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ShinyPinkShoes · 22/06/2008 12:54

This is fraud without a doubt.

You need to contact Jobcentre plus as soon as possible to get it sorted out.

She doesn't need to get it signed back over to you-JC+ can do that.

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cheerfulvicky · 22/06/2008 12:57

Hiya,
I really sympathize with your situation. Have you looked at the government website for the rules on WTC? There is also an ace independant site called www.entitledto.com which tells you roughly what benefits you can get in different circumstances, so it might be worth playing around with that to get an idea of where you stand.
Housing Benefit has recently been replaced with something called Local Housing Allowance (LHA), and their website has a calculator so you can see how much LHA you could get depending on where you live. The website is here: lha-direct.therentservice.gov.uk/

But I would talk to the benefits office or the Citizens Advice Beruex as soon as possible, because you need to make sure things stay on a legal footing so that any claims aren't affected in the future, IYSWIM.

Is your mum refusing to write you an eviction letter? Sorry I don't know the whole story but I'm not entirely clear whether she wants you to move out or wants to to stay so she can keep claiming on behalf of your child...

As far as I know personally, Child Tax Credit and Child Benefit are paid to the person who has main responsibility for caring for the child - which is now you. WTC is separate and is only paid if the carer/s of the child is working 16/30 hours a week and on a low income, i.e minimum wage. (The gov.s rules on the 16 vs 30 hours seem to differ and I still can't work out how many hours you have to work to get it!)

I would have a look at the Entitled To site to get an idea of how much you should really be getting! Knowledge is power. I hope if you can't get a council house you can manage to get a private let sorted ASAP. Sometimes the local council will help you to find private accom. if there is a shortage of social housing in your area, because it's in their best interests...

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CarGirl · 22/06/2008 13:01

Can you scrape enough to move into a room in a shared house, ok so you will have to share with your son but that would actually help you get a council place hopefully. At least that way you would get the benefits you are entitlted to and you should get housing benefit if you are on a low income.

Have you got family friends who would support you in this way etc?

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themildmanneredjanitor · 22/06/2008 13:07

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nappyaddict · 22/06/2008 13:08

The only place we could move is my nans and tbh it would make me miserable. They live in the middle of nowhere and i don't drive so i would have to rely on them to ferry me about. I have to go out now so will check back later.

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nappyaddict · 22/06/2008 13:09

tmmj - i sent my cv off to loads of estate agents. they said they weren't recruiting at the time and would get back to me if they were interested in training me up.

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CarGirl · 22/06/2008 13:10

so you don't have the money to go into private house share or there aren't any in the right area?

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nappyaddict · 23/06/2008 10:57

don't know about a house share - how much are they?

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CarGirl · 23/06/2008 13:56

depends where you live, how nice the house is etc etc etc, have a look in your local paper etc How much are bedsits where you live you may be entitled to some sort of loan from the council towards a deposit - worth looking into?

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