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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

wanted to say thanks...

21 replies

prettyfly1 · 21/06/2008 13:33

hey there. some of you will remember a post between me and ex a few weeks ago. the advise to me at the time was get up, get some self respect, he is a manipulative git who is using you so dont let him and leave.

some of it was pretty harsh at the time but this week he came back grovelling and thanks to the kick up the bum you guys gave me for the first time in tenyears i found the strength for me and my son to say no. ironically as soon as i did he got nasty and i really saw him for what he was.

since the post i have started running again, booked myself on holiday and a new college course, my son is going to rugby lessons and starting to balance himself again with a lot of cuddles and time and although i still cant say i am happy i really hope in time that will come. What i can say is for the first time in a long time i can look at myself with some respect so macdoodle et al.thank you for the advise and support and its all up from here for me.

THANKYOU

OP posts:

Report

Aarrgghh · 21/06/2008 13:35

I remember your thread - the news is FABULOUS!

LuLuMacGloo · 21/06/2008 13:36

What a brilliant post. So pleased for you.

KatieScarlett2833 · 21/06/2008 13:37

You go girl!!!

prettyfly1 · 21/06/2008 13:41

Smiling now - yeah i think so - thanks again.

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Alambil · 21/06/2008 15:03

fantastic - onwards and upwards

Your post reminds me of a Faith Hill song; in it she says:

I'm gonna crawl out from this stone that i've been under, to see the light and breathe the air. And you'll have a million reasons why I shouldn't leave you, but for the first time in a long time I don't care...

Sounds like you're on the way up - long may it continue

KatieScarlett2833 · 21/06/2008 15:08

Play "Yes" by Bernard Butler and dance around your living room.

You are a star.

prettyfly1 · 21/06/2008 15:09

bit more of a fan of rihanna standing ovation this week - loving that song!!

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macdoodle · 21/06/2008 20:56

Well done you - am smiling now and feeling lots of respect for you - because despite my harsh (but honest) words - I have no doubt in my mind that what you did was the hardest thing you have ever done

greenelizabeth · 21/06/2008 21:00

Good for you. The internet has helped loads of women leave various arseholes. I left a nasty bully a year ago. One of the wake up and smell the coffee moments for me was reading a thread on a forum. People were unanimous in telling me to leave. I hadn't thought I could do it.

He's still making trouble for me, e-mailing me to mock me, insult me etc... but I know I'm free now, and I have hope and nobody is undermining me or criticising me!

Congratulations on starting your new life!!!

OverMyDeadBody · 21/06/2008 21:01

well done prettyfly1, that is fantastic news!

prettyfly1 · 21/06/2008 22:19

hi guys. thanks thanks thanks and thanks again. it was without doubt the hardest thing i have ever done but it will get easier with time. i still have my moments of weakness but they will ease. good luck to ya mac!

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bonio · 21/06/2008 23:39

You are a great example.

Fix yourself before you worry about relationships, especially crap ones.

Sounds like you have a great future ahead..

MrsMacaroon · 22/06/2008 00:04

keep it up!

AbricotsSecs · 22/06/2008 00:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

littlewoman · 22/06/2008 22:40

Leaving someone is a tough decision to make, and a tough time to work through. But even tougher is getting squashed into the ground by someone who doesn't respect or love you. Hope you go from strength to strength, and the days lead to happier years ahead.

cheerfulvicky · 22/06/2008 22:47

Good for you for having the guts to tell him where to go, that must have been hard. Sounds like you've made some really positive changes!

prettyfly1 · 23/06/2008 18:28

yeah i think so. still have those awful moments when its quiet and it all plays through my head but i am trying to use the anger and resentment i still feel to motivate myself to make things better for me and my son. the words i used to him were i am grateful for what he did because i will never allow a man to use me like that again and i repeat it like a mantra to keep myself moving. who knows i might even put a new post in six months talking about how happy and secure we are. i certainly hope so.

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HappyWoman · 23/06/2008 18:41

Well done - you know you have the strength and power to do what you want now.
brilliant

bluesky · 23/06/2008 19:05

what a great positive thread, well done prettyfly!!

paperdoll · 23/06/2008 19:27

I wasn't on your first thread, but you sound awesome. I am impressed.

Your DS is a lucky kid to have someone like you.

prettyfly1 · 23/06/2008 19:44

thanks. i am not awesome and believe me i have made some collosal mistakes and was very much a fool for love but its done now and like the other girls say - the only way is up.

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