Sex with ex - is it always a bad idea?

[girlgottahaveit]

My ex and I separated just under a year ago. I am quite highly sexed but, unsurprisingly with a little one at home, haven't had any action since then. Earlier today, my ex practically offered sex on a plate to me and I surprised myself by being sorely tempted: it had never occurred to me until today that I might sleep with my ex again. But I said a calm, friendly "no", with a bit of ramble about emotional confusion, etc, even though other parts of me were screaming "yes"!

A bit of background: despite initial hostility, my ex and I are now friendly. We're not actively trying to re-build our relationship, but are spending time together every now and then, agenda-less, just to see how we get along - I suppose motivated by DS and the good times of old.

So, would sex muddy the water?

Argh - I'm asking questions which, really, I know the answers to. I am just sooo raring to go at the moment , and this is - at least in some respects - the easiest way for me to get it.

Cold shower, methinks.

[WillburyNibbleQC]

If you just want sex, choose someone else.

If you both want to rekindle the relationship, talk about it first.

[Tortington]

yip hop in cold shower and remember why you are'nt together

[girlgottahaveit]

As I thought ...

My mind-over-matter spiel was right then. Cold shower it is.

Got a landscaper-with-a-nice-chest after me at the moment - maybe he could be the someone else.

Thanks, ladies.

[Pinkchampagne]

Definitely go for the cold shower! I could never have even thought about sex with my ex once we separated. I think it would totally mess your head up, and you would regret it straight after.

[Pinkchampagne]

Yes, jump on the landscaper instead!

[fairyfly]

if you're going to have sex with an ex it should be spontaneous idiocy. A suprise to you both. I.e. you went to the shop to buy some milk, he was in there buying self help books and five minutes later your on your back legs akimbo.

Discussed and planned ex sex is just dire, as how can you say it was a mistake if you both waited for it.

[expatinscotland]

My ex h and I used to meet up for sex every now and again. He'd come over to mine with some takeaway and wine and an overnight bag.

We'd have some sex, he'd stay over, we'd go out for breakfast, then he'd go back to the house we used to share.

It worked for us.

[Anniegetyourgun]

I wouldn't have sex with my ex if he was the last man on earth, wore a paper bag over his head, and fed me aphrodisiacs for a year. He doesn't deserve me and he ain't going to get me. Doing without is painful, but doing it with him is just... impossible.

[ChipButty]

Nooooooooooooooooooooo!! Don't even think about it. Big mistake! He is your EX for a reason, right?

[Clarabumps]

really- no!!! even if it can work for you and the two of you remain unscathed..the likelihood of this happening is slim to none. I cannot stress this enough- if the two of you are gettin on okay just now- don't complicate this by adding sex. this is speaking from experience. It just gets messy for one if not both parties at some point, where do you stop? you end up having sex then having a wee cuddle, then he comes over for a dvd and then sex, then either you will keep going like this untill it turns to crap. OR...one of you meets someone else or just gets plain bored..then it gets really crap.
sorry if i sound patronising but you've probably thought of all this anyway.
showers it is...or a trip to ann summers..

[girlnextdoor]

Do you still think it is a good idea he is your ex? sounds like you both might be having 2nd thoughts- are you sure you don't want to give it another go?

[Sassafrass]

I parted on amicable terms with my ex and we'd meet up for sex every now and then. Was really nice actually. He never slept over though and we kept it all very friendly. If you feel at all emotional about him I wouldn't do it though.

[fawkeoff]

i just could not have sex with my ex....even though its only been 4 weeks.....been dowwn that road some years ago....just caused mixed feelings....if you are going to jump in the sack with him use a condom because you dont know how irresponsible he has been with other women over the past year