Do I let it go?

[donnaride]

At the weekend my husband bought a load of beers in and sat in front of the TV with them. We were having a laugh, kids were in bed etc and by about 11pm he was quite drunk.
He suffers from hayfever and also has a cold so had been blowing his nose all day and when I was trying to watch a film I got a bit snappy with him as it was getting annoying (I know, I shouldnt have got mad over that).
And then he said "I know, it's pissing me off too", 10 minutes later he blew his nose really hard and let loads of it drip down his face and then turned to me and said "is that better?" and laughed with his face full of snot. It nearly made me sick and I said "don't be so disgusting, that's not even funny" and so he let it drip into his mouth and then sucked it out of his nose .

I said he was disgusting and he just laughed at me and I went to bed.

The next morning he said I was being a "right moody cow" the night before and that if I told anyone what he'd done he was going to make everyone believe it was me and that I was too embarrassed to admit it and so was blaming it on him . I said I had no intentions of telling anyone anyway.

On monday morning he went to work and he phond me and asked what I wanted for tea and then said "how about a snot sandwich?" and all his mates started laughing in the background and then he was going on and one of them shouted "you minger". So basically he'd gone and told everyone at work that I'd done it.

I was really cross with him on monday night and told him so and said I didn't find it funny at all and was sick of him trying to make me look stupid. He aplogised and said he was "Just having a bit of a laugh" but he always does stuff like this.

Anyway we didn't speak about it again until yesterday when we went to visit my grandma and he told everyone "his" version of what had happened that night in front of my grandma, her husband, my aunt and my cousin. All of them believed him and tutted and looked away and my aunt said "a joke is a joke but that is just vile" and nobody believed me when I said it was him and not me and he sat there playing the victim.

He now reckons I am a grumpy cow and can't take a joke and if I'm going to be so miserable I should get together with an old person who will be as boring as me.

So please be honest, am I being a miserable cow?

[ByTheSea]

YANBU. I think I'd kill him -- he's lucky he's not my DH.

[maidamess]

No you are not a miserable cow. You are clearly married to an eight year old boy.

[StripySails]

Not my idea of a joke either. He is an idiot. And it's completely disresctful to you. YANBU.

[lilyloo]

How old is he ?
You are not miserable just an adult!

[SmallShips]

YANBU. That is hideous, what he did, and how he turned it round on you.

[beeny]

He is an idiot and unpleasant

[anorak]

That's enough to upset someone for a seriously long time.

I would find a way to make him tell all those people the truth, or there would be big marital trouble that would not easily heal.

And shame on your relatives for believing him. If it's completely out of character for you to do such a thing they should have used their own judgment about which of you to believe.

[InLoveWithSweeneyTodd]

How about you DO make him a snot sandwich to take to work? And a second one to share around?
I would take the item personally to his work place looking pristine and flirting openly with his male colleagues.

[InLoveWithSweeneyTodd]

ok, maybe snot is a bit too yuk (I mean for you to handle, sod him), but what about a couple of slugs.

[totalmisfit]

if this is indicative of his behaviour as a whole then divorce, divorce, divorce. I can't imagine why he would treat someone he's taken solemn vows with in this manner. Don't put up with it.

It might seem a small thing, but if this is how he treats you (with no respect/ with utter ridiule) how is this relationship fulfilling you or sustaining you?

He's making a mockery of everything an adult relationship should be.

oh, and did i mention he sounds like a complete twat and you deserve better?

[InLoveWithSweeneyTodd]

i'm being serious btw. I think he needs a taste of his own "sense of humour".

[izyboy]

Tell him that it is hard to view him as a sexual partner when he behaves like this.

So if he ever wants another shag again he had better aplogise and tell the truth starting with your relatives.

Shouldn't worry about the colleagues - if he wants them to believe he is married to a - ahem - 'minger' then he's got a pretty poor self image. Twunts the lot!

[girlnextdoor]

Complete plonker- hope he has other redeeming habits that make it worth sticking with him.

[JessJess3908]

I like izyboy's plan. How could a shag a man with snot dripping down his face?

Seriously tho - sounds like the sort of thing a school bully would do. You're not beign a miserable cow - it's just not that funny.

And if he knew it didn't appeal to your sense of humour the first time - why would he think that you would find it funny if he carried it on and pulled the stupid stunt in front of your family?

Am surprised you haven't burst with anger/frustration.

[auntyspan]

The lack of respect he's showing you is unbelieveable. I'm all for having a laugh but FGS he's lying about you in front of his friends and family.

If it was my DH he's be on the sofa indefinitely.

How about threatening to tell a story about him in front of your friends - about the fact he's impotent, or last time he broke wind he shat his pants or something - see how HE likes it??

He needs to make a big fat apology.

[jalopy]

[jalopy]

Btw, it's snot up to your usual standards, donna.

[Baffy]

Presuming this is for real, I'd take him up on his suggestion of finding someone as 'boring' as you and kick the tw*t out.

Pathetic, degrading, disgusting behaviour and someone like that does not deserve to be called 'husband' let alone an 'adult'!