Sorry forgot to title this a minute ago- Mine and Dps first xmas- family being awkward

[Mumblesmummy]

My Dp and I have been staying with my family whilst moving house (as we had a few problems with the change over and had to put our stuff in storage). It's been at a bad time because I'm pregnant and hormonal and my family are going through our first ever rough patch. I've only been with DP for ten months but we're VERY together and we're getting married and we're the perfect match.

The thing is, my once lovely family are snapping at me constantly which is getting me down and not helping with the hormones. I get quite upset and seem down all the time, plus I'd like some support now I'm pregnant but they're more interested in my sister who is having twins. They can be incredibly snappy and nasty towards me for no reason.

The thing is, we're due to move into our new house 20th December, but we're staying with my mum xmas eve night and xmas night, possible boxing night too. My DP now thinks we've out stayed our welcome despite the fact we stay in our room a lot when we're in, and most of the time we're out anyway. He thinks rather than putting off moving into the new house until 27th Dec, we should move in before xmas and stay there over xmas to avoid snipes, snaps and rows, as he HATES people upsetting me unnecessarily when I'm having a difficult pregnancy anyway (bleeding, pain, sciatica, struggling with work etc).

I really want to stay there over xmas as it's tradition and I don't want to upset them, but I don't want to ruin my DPs xmas- our first xmas together, and I too am very tired of all the snapping and trying to start arguments with me. He's very supportive and I know he'll do whatever I want, but I feel like I'm stuck now because they're being so weird with us.

A lot of it is because my sister had IVF whilst I was first pregnant and so she didn't speak to me for 3 months, and now she acts like because she tried for her babies they're very important, where as mine was conceived first month of trying so not important. It's all very obvious, and she's also one of these people who stays in and lays in bed all day and gets my mum and dad to run round for her all day long because she's pregnant.

I'm over the arguments and everything now, but I'm totally stuck on the xmas thing. Do I risk our xmas or not?

[hermionegrangerat34]

I'd go to your new home and say you want to spend Xmas there as a family to start making it feel like home. INvite them to join you if you can face it (just for the lunch though!), then even if they don't come they can't say you didn't ask. Moving to new house is the perfect excuse to break tradition, if its been that fraught they'll probably be happy too.

[AngharadGoldenhand]

Sounds like it might be the right thing for everyone for you to have Christmas in your new home. You can still see your family, but you're not on top of each other.

If you invite them for part of Christmas, you could be setting a lovely new tradition too.

[WinkyWinkola]

Go for the quiet Christmas Day just you and your DP. Ask your family over for lunch or go over there on Christmas Day or Boxing Day. Sounds like you could do with some quiet private time with your DP before your baby arrives.

Your folks will calm down after Christmas but perhaps some space between you all is needed right now.

[HansieMom]

Your partner seems right on target with his thinking. Overstayed your welcome and all. It can happen! It sounds like more than your folks can handle right now and they aren't doing a good job of it. Your sister sounds very self centered. You can just leave them to it and you can enjoy your partner and your precious baby to be. I'm sure you'll love being in your own home. Congratulations on your pregnancy, your thoughtful husband and your new home!

[coppertop]

I agree with your dp. You're not going to enjoy Christmas at your family's house anyway if they keep this up, and somehow I doubt that they will suddenly stop their current behaviour just because it's Christmas. You need your own space, especially with your pregnancy problems. Leave your parents to run around after your sister while you get on with enjoying your new home with your dp. Good luck.