Friend is so irritating but doesnt realise

[LittleMissHeadache]

I'm getting so pissed off with my friend lately I'm close to giving her a mouthful which I know will upset her and I'll regret but she's so bloody annoying.

She's a single parent with 2 kids and I'm married with 2 kids and despite the fact that my DH works full time and she doesnt, we always seemed to be in similar finantial states. Never had money for christmas, summer holidays, clothes etc and we used to moan together about it. However she always seemed to be able to go on holidays and buy more luxuries then we ever could. One time I upset her by saying "of course you're skint, you're on benefits, what's our excuse?" and she went in a mood for days.

Anyway about 6 months ago she got a job. Only part time in an office and all of a sudden she was loaded. Would go out buying all the most expensive clothes, booked weekends away with the kids and went to shows that I couldnt afford and it annoyed me because she only worked a few days a week and had much more money that us when DH works full time.

Now she keeps going on about all the stuff she's got her kids for christmas when she knows I'm struggling with mine, has said about how she is moving next year to get the kids in a better area/school when she knows I can't and keeps going on about saving up to take the kids to disney world when she knows I cant afford to go to spain.

It irritates me because as I say, DH works all week full time and brings home less than she does working 4 half days a week because tax credits practically double her money and she gets away with council tax rebates etc.

Do I say something to her to make her realise how she comes across or am I being mean?

[donnie]

this will kick off......

[DingDongJeremyOnVile]

What would you say to her?

She isn't doing anything wrong in being in a decent financial position.

Deal with your own problems instead of resenting others.

[paros]

Pass the popcorn

[coldtits]

You're jealous. Any valid point you have will get swamped in a tide of jealousy and spite, so don't bother.

It is a shame, though, when jealousy wrecks friendships - if you are so jealous of her having more money than you because she is working, why don't you try getting a job instead of spending your evidently too-free time worrying about why a single parent who works is better off than you, a non single non working parent.

Donnie is right, by the way, this will kick off, and you are going to get lynched for this, which I am assuming was your point on a dull Sunday afternoon.

[Marne]

I agree with DingDong

[FranSanDisco]

You're not annoyed you're jealous.

[TheQueenSPeach]

I can't work out what she's doing that's so annoying. We all manage our money differently. Do you know how much debt she's got? You do sound a bit jealous tbh.

[coldtits]

PS this was done a few weeks ago, so you['re not even original.

[YuleLoveHekateAtSolstice]

It's not her fault you're so eaten up with envy that you are starting to hate her because you are so disatisfied with your own life.

You were snotty to her about being on benefits, she gets a job and you hate the fact she's doing 'better than you'

She doesn't deserve it????

I BET she's excited about Christmas, if she's going to be able to afford a good one.

A FRIEND would understand this.

It's a wonder she's not dropped you, tbh.

[SantasLittleToiletFlusher]

Perhaps its time to knock the friendship on the head.

If it were a true friendship you would feel happy for her that she is able to do these things.

[FranSanDisco]

Maybe you could kick your dh out and get a part-time job and see if you're better off?

[Wisteria]

Have you ever considered that she may be envious of you having a marriage and someone to help out? That to me is worth far more than the extra few hundred quid she may or may not have......

You're not there when she comes back from work to having to do everything and cope all by herself; being lonely at night when the dcs are in bed, no one to talk to when she has down days etc.

The tax credits are there to help people like your friend and as someone else said - get a job yourself if these financial constraints are such a big issue to you.

LittleMissEnvious may be more apt.

[KITTYmaspudding]

littlemiss, you have every right to be pissed off.
I don't think you sound jealous/envious etc.
She sounds like a spiteful and thoughtless woman.
Hey perhaps she is on the game or doing something underhand? Would account for all the extra money

Ignore her, a true friend would know that to brag is wrong.

Know that your dp is earning an honest wage and that she is getting money for old rope. It's not fair I know.

[donnie]

'perhaps she is on the game'

WHAAAAT??????

Merry Christmas, one and all.

[ArmadilloDaMan]

Kitty that is a really really nasty post

[DingDongJeremyOnVile]

Kitty, that's a disgraceful thing to say.

[YuleLoveHekateAtSolstice]

I thought Kitty was being sarcastic. Surely she could not have been serious?

[Wisteria]

Kitty are you just taking the piss?

[SantasLittleToiletFlusher]

I think Kitty was joking.....are you?

[donnie]

where is Littlemissheadache anyway? is she busy also posting as kittymaspudding?

[Magrat]

It's not about your income it's about your disposable income .. maybe she just doesn't have the expenses that you do so she has more money to play with

I also find it difficult to understand how someone on benefits can afford to spend conspicuously on holidays and presents unless they are being helped out by family members .. maybe they are... or alternatively maybe she's borrowing money which might seem affordable to her but won't be in the long run

some people live within their means
some people are helped out
some people live on credit

the point is she's your friend .. if you are irritated you have to consider whether she's irritating you purposefully or you're just jealous of what, from the outside, appears to be a far easier life (could be either way really)

[MoreSpamThanGlam]

I had a friend like you. Was always full of how well lucky we were when we had our business and 2 houses.

We lost the business after being set up by a fraudster. We lost both homes and I was really poorly with PND. She has a fantastic part time NHS job that pays over £30k and her dh earns the same. She still lives in a grotty council flat because she doesnt want to go without her luxuries in life. But moans about the safety of her kids and how she cant afford to move!!!

I was recently offered a council property that is quite nice as far as they go. She bemoaned the fact that I was soooo lucky and always fall on my feet somehow. I was also lucky when I lost 2 stone in weight and she didnt because I exercised 4 times a week and stopped stuffing my face. I am also lucky to have my dh because she moans about hers and makes bugger all effort with him.

Its taken me a while but I have just realised that all her little "youre so lucky's" are just underhand jealous snipes. If she was a real friend she would weigh up the crap with the good and be pleased for something "lucky" that comes my way.

I also earn a bit of extra cash on ebay or bootfairs which I put by for my kids in addition to my pt job. I suppose thats bloody lucky too?

She was a jealous cow and you sound the same. Stay away from your "mate" she sounds like she needs a real one not a bitch like my "friend" was.

[citylover]

Kitty - pretty rich coming from you when you would clear approx three hundred per month in child benefit!

[LittleSleighBellasRinging]

Oh people who have more money than me are so irritating.

Kitty is this you in disguise?

What d'you mean she's got money for old rope while the OP's DH is doing an honest job? So if a lone parent does a job now, that's not even a job anymore, that's just money for old rope, is it?

Jesus, you are mean-minded. Or a wind-up merchant. Or possibly both

[MoreSpamThanGlam]

Its all gone quiet over there......