feeling very very alone and worthless...beware it is a long very sad story but i'd appreciate advice

[allib]

short version....together 7 years...after 5 got married...1 1/2 later found out dh having affair (let's just say v obviously)....tried to make it work...6 mnths later I called quits (he couldn't even delete her number, never mind stop the relationship...still had to stay in same house as dh but moved away May this year...things still sh**...now dh g'f is pregnant....feeling awful/worthless/life can't go on etc etc etc

[allib]

sorry...sounds sooooo sad

[pneumalifenewname]

have you had any counselling?

[allib]

no. but was considering it even before todays news

[allib]

no. sorry, left that out. had m/c (one lovely day of being preg!) last oct. was due july 07.

[pneumalifenewname]

so you found out today about the pregnancy?

[fawkeoff]

((((((hug)))))))) i know its easier said than done, but the fact is you can never go back to the way things were....he has moved on a lot quicker than you have,but you will be okay hun. i think it would be good for you to talk to someone about it

[allib]

yup. thought i was doing ok. then found out today and feel a mess again. does anyone else just get the feeling that they are meant for something more??

[pneumalifenewname]

Okay, well on a really practical and unemotional level I'd recommend relationship (Relate?) counselling to deal with the relationship breakdown and maybe some behavioural therapy to look at how you ended up in this situation. The latter may only be relevant if you feel you are prone to being treated badly in relationships but it might be helpful in any case..?

I think it takes a pretty long while to deal with this degree of hurt and betrayal. n my experience it does, anyhow.

[allib]

nope. sounds well sad but i really don't know a) how to or b) have much desire to meet anyone new. that's sad really. i moved back to near where i grew up but feeling empty. only folk i speak to or visit i either work with or am related to. am such a saddo

[fawkeoff]

sorry hun didnt realise yo had a mc, the news must be extra shit.he is not worthy of you babe, and just think she is going to have to live with that todge bag and be treated the way you was.

[allib]

i think i may have to go down the councilling route. nowt to lose by trying??!

[pneumalifenewname]

you are not bad or sad, he's just made you feel worthless with his shitty behaviour my love. Honest.

[fawkeoff]

not at all hun and its nothing to be ashamed of either, you are grieving hun and it might help you with the mc x x x

[allib]

i actually forgot to write about the mc in my tale of woe!! I was a member of the july 07 thread - in hope! - on the day of the test!! bled and hospital later, i left the thread as i wasn't in the club anymore. kinda crap really

[fawkeoff]

awww hun i do know what your'e going through...i've had 3 mc, but think that you will find the RIGHT person to settle down and have babies with x do not be fooled into thinking he would have stayed if you had not mc, it would have made things much more complicated x

[allib]

i know. am trying to have a "this is how it's meant to be" attitude. but todays news really knocked me 4 6 again. thought i was ok with it all.

[pneumalifenewname]

you sound like you are just scraping yourself up off the floor, understandably.

Well done for not staying down there. go get some counselling and maybe eat some chocolate to get your feel good chemicals flowing - seriously! Or anti depressants work well too

[allib]

i can't decide if i feel if i'm running out of time of have wasted 2 much time. am 30 and feel like my chance to have any family has gone. but also feel like i've totally wasted my 20's with him and it's amounted to absolutely nothing because i wasn't good enough.
sorry am sad

[fawkeoff]

you are not too late to have a family,my mum had me when she was 34...my dp's aunt had her youngest at 41.you will find someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved

[pneumalifenewname]

My therapist told me that a big thing for many of her clients is the sense of wasted time so you are not alone. Thank goodness, however, that you have now been given the opportunity to make a better life for yourself.

[allib]

i feel 2 old to start over. which is sooo sad at 30. and tired ALL the time. i'm also worried that i end up fat again. i lost 5 stones 3 years ago (dh gf is VERY skinny) or end up v v skinny

generally i just feel like a mess

sorry for off loading

x

[madamez]

Counselling might well help. But also, feel free to vent and rant on this site - you will get plenty of support and advice (not all of it any use but much of it well meant) and there is something very helpful in just pouring it all out to strangers who can't judge you or suddenly start reminding you of the good points in your situation when that's the last thing you want to hear.

ON which note, if you are feeling really horrible (or even just a bit horrible but alone) phoning The Samaritans - the 118 etc will give you your local number - can be good as they just listen and sympathise and don't put the other person's point of view or order you about.

You'll get through it. You will. But it does hurt... and then slowly, day by day, bit by bit, it starts getting better. Honest.

[fawkeoff]

pneuma hows things going??? sorry to impose on thread