So, this "playing hard to get" business - does it work? How does one do it?

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

I mean resisting the urge to call when you really like someone, not making it obvious and so on?

I find this really difficult. I mean, it's just so much easier to be yourself isn't it? All dating advice seems to advocate the "be cool" attitude, but is it worth it?

[Carmenere]

No idea, I was only ever fairly straight with suitors so to speak

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

Mmm... just wondering whether being a little machiavellian would pay greater dividends...

[rantinghousewife]

Well there's resisting the urge to call and then there's totally unavailable, think you're supposed to be somewhere in between. But as I'm married and long out of the dating business, I can't remember.
Can't you just be straight?

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

Well yes, I usually am, as not used to behaving in any other way. But I read something recently about exploiting the connection between scarcity and desirability, which sort of makes sense - ie, if you're not easily available, you're more appealing.

[rantinghousewife]

I can see the logic in that, when I was single and didn't want a bloke, loads of them would come along at once. But with dh, I was quite straightforward about liking him but, then I knew he liked me, we knew each other for a while before we dated tho'.
Think about how you'd like a man to act to get your attention and then try to be a bit like that, I seem to remember liking a man to be just interested enough but, not camping on my doorstep iyswim.

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

Good advice rantinghousewife

[SpeccieSeccie]

It works. Don't call. It took me ages and much pain to work this out but it's true.

[MyTwopenceworth]

Life is too short to play games.

It's a balance, I mean, don't propose on the first date, or ask him if he has ever thought about baby names, but the whole 'pretend to have plans, don't pick up the phone' thing, well, you could really lose out.

Don't be clingy or desperate, but keep it light and above all else, let him see that you want to give him space within your life.

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

Mmm, well at the moment, MN is distracting me from picking up the phone (to return a missed call that he made to me last night), so... I guess I'll have to stay here all night then... or bite the bullet... errr...

[SpeccieSeccie]

Ah, you'd be returning a call. That's different. It's only polite to return a call. I think that one should always be polite.

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

So you think I should return the call - not wait for him to try again?

Oh well, going to bed now, so might do so in the morning

[chocchipcookie]

I'd return the call IF he left a message, not if it was a missed call. Otherwise you're going to have to go through that 'I saw your number' conversation which shows you know his number and you've been checking which is not cool?

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

Well, he called back this morning & we're going on our 3rd date tomorrow, so maybe it does work after all

[chocchipcookie]

Congratulations!

[rantinghousewife]

Ahh MWOSQ, you've obviously got the balance right then. Glad he called back.