Sorry for the LONG story, but you need the background info.
My husband and I met seven years ago..I was 19 years old. We moved in together and I forced him to get engaged. Due to medical reasons, I fell pregnant and forced him to marry me. We had a great relationsip until we got married. He wouldn't touch me for weeks after baby was born. He would tell me I am fat and I need to lose weight - ALL THE TIME. My son is now 2 years old.
He has another daugther from a previous marriage and she has made my life hell (Shes 9 and does not live with us.
Here we are now, married for almost three years...he has treated me like absolute shit. He screams at me and tells me to F#%@ off and other course things. He always leaves me with the kids and either works late or Saturdays or is out doing something. He flirted with a woman at my own HOUSE at my sons SECOND bday party in front of all my friends and family. I finally got to the point where I told I want out of the marriage he laughed at me and told me he will never give me a divorce and he will make sure I lose my job because he will make sure I am always in court, and he will take my son away from me....
He then got very ugly and ripped all my clothes and shoes, and things out of my closet and threw it all in the passage and kicked it into the spare bedroom. He damaged most of my stuff. We went away for one night to try decide together whether it was over or not.
We had the most amazing time and the best sex we have had in years. We decided it was over and he would help me look for a place to stay and pay child support.
I battled to find a place that I could afford and he said it was okay and that he loves me and wants me to stay.
So I did. In the last three months I have been chatting to a guy at my work (he works at a branch that is 300km away). He is married with two kids and his wife has cheated on him a couple of times, but he sticks around for the kids sake. We became best of friends - like soulmates. I have never met the man but we clicked. He made me realise that I am beautfiul and my figure is not that bad and that he finds me to be an amazing person. This made me realise that I was destroying myself by staying with a man that cannot be bothered to make any effort in our marriage and that he had totally crushed my self esteem. He only gets home most nights after 7pm!
We chat daily and phone each other daily.
I sent a too friendly message to him last night and I never deleted it off my phone, plus I tried to phone my friend twice due to issues on the product dispatch and I never deleted the dialed numbers out of my phone.
Well last night my husband found this and has accused me of having an affair and swears blind that I have slept with the man - whom I have never met.
Please can you offer me some advice. My husband is trying hard to make our marriage work, every two or three days. He feels that the way he has treated me and spoken to me is quite acceptable and he is the innocent party in all of this.
But I do love him and I need to convince him I am not having an affair - PLEASE HELP!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
HELP - I need advice on marriage please
Anitaz · 14/08/2007 10:40
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