Desperate for another baby

[MissPL]

I have 2 children already who are 10 and 7. Hubby and I always said that we would have just 2. For the last 2 yrs though I have been wanting another but hubby has put his foot down and said 2 is enough, his main reason being that we can't afford another. He also dosen't want to start again with sleepless nights etc. After months of trying to persuade him to have another, I just accepted that we wouldn't have any more. But now I all I can think about is having another and I am surrounded by pregnant women at the moment. I know we can't really afford it but we couldn't really afford the other 2 and we managed. I just don't want to regret not having more in yrs to come. I got the mothercare catalogue the other day and cried when I realised that my 7 yr old was to old for the toys/clothes in there and I never be going in mothercare again Do I talk hubby into having another or just be happy as things are? In my head I know hubby is being sensible about this but my heart wants another. Sorry I going on now but cant stop thinking about this.

[liliac]

I know how you feel, I have always wanted a third baby. My last baby was 9 months old and the longing was so bad i could taste it, for 4 years I could only talk with dh about my longing and he (ever practical) kept saying that no we couln't afford one, and then two weeks ago he said he wished we had had another, our youngest is now 8, and dh is 43, so if we had another the ago gap would be huge, dh would be 60 by the time the baby was 16. It shocked me that he wanted another and now I don't. i think some times you have to let your head rule your heart no matter how hard it is. Misspl the need does go, be strong.

[Anitaz]

I have a two year old son and a step child of 9 years old. (She doesn't live with us, but my husband pays child support). I am desperate for another baby but my husband keeps saying that he does not want another one! I feel so heartbroken!

[momi07]

I know how youre feeling. Im broody too and get a hint of jealosy when yet another person i know announces their pregnancy. Its just natural to feel broody sometimes. I came off the pill a year ago and it still hasnt happened.

[scorpio1]

me and dp went through this.

IMO, a proper chat and weighing up the feelings is needed. Who feels stronger? have you done a budget sheet, including extra CB and Tax Credits you will get-this may help him see you can afford one. Is it because you want a baby or something to do? (that is not meant harshly btw )

Me and DP discussed for months-it got so bad that we didnt mention it for 2 months becuase i couldnt without crying. this gave him time to think-men often need the peace to think and like to think it was there idea, anyway! DP approached me in Jan this year (after 17 months) and agreed-he wanted one. im now very early pg with dc3 (4th between us).

[MissPL]

Thanks everyone for your replies. It's good to hear that others have felt like this as well.

Liliac you made a really good point there about the age of your DH. My DP is 42 so he'd also be nearly retirement age when the child was grown up, this is also one of dp arguements. I however had my first child very young and am only 3O so wont be anywhere near retirement age!

Scorpio - I definately feel stronger about having another than DP does about not having one. Thats a good idea about doing a budget sheet. We dont get tax credits, just the basic child tax credits so would only get extra child benefit.

[kittywits]

Well, I have been like this and went on until dp 'gave in'. If he hadn't I'd have left him !

[TigerFeet]

I am hankering after number 2 atm,
Really really badly

I am hoping it will pass

can't afford it, not healthy enough in myself, etc etc

[hellobello]

Age should be no barrier, or what the hell are me and dh doing?! We have a joint age of 100 and 2 babies under 3. I would sometimes love another, but I'm already in my 40s so it might not be such a good thing to start. It's hard, the grief of not having more.

I met someone the other day who had a new baby when he was 80.

Why do you want another baby? Do you enjoy being pregnant? Do you love babies when they're tiny? Which bit do you really miss?

It is awful longing for another baby. Try not to worry about age gaps - they can be huge. Dh is 16 years younger than his next sibling. Our dd is 24 years younger than her elder sister. It just muddles up generations!

[Tigi]

I have 3, and sometimes get soooo broody, but there is no way I could afford another, so I have to just wait for the feelings to pass. You may laugh, but I now have a kitten, and that has given me a 'fix' as I now have something else to fuss over and mother!

[Bibis]

Gosh how sad for you, I hope that you can talk him round, have you thought why you want another one?

I would imagine that life is relatively settled for you now, I cannot imagine how it would be to get past the nappy/sleepless nights stage and then start it all again. We have not missed a day of nappy changing in 6 and a half years and am looking forward to finishing it all next year.

Just imagine yourself in 10, 15 years time. If life looks really bleak without another child then you really need to talk to your dh or reassess your life.

Good Luck in whatever the outcome is

[liliac]

The reason I wanted another baby was quite weird. we got together as a couple when I was 17 and he was 25 and had our first baby when I was 22 and he was 30, we had split up when I was 6 months pregnant and I was living with my parents so my mam and I brought my baby home from the hospital. We started living together again when dd was 3, and had ds when I was 27 and he was 35 when with both of our babies I had pre eclampsia, it was really bad with the second baby he was born at 27 weeks, he was o2 for 9 months. I think the reason I wanted another baby was because I wanted a normal pregnancy and delivery and to come home with my partner to my perfect family. it would never of happened, in reality I didn't want another baby, I was depressed and wanted to change the past. There you go, my little secret, so secret that I hadn't realised why I had longed for baby number three until I wrote it down!!!!