FACEBOOK

[filingcabinet]

About 2 years ago, I found out my husband was having "phone sex" with a woman he worked with. He said there was nothing else and I believed him. A few weeks ago, we were at his computer when a facebook invite from her came through and we both saw it. I found out he has accepted the invitationand he is listed as one of her friends. I am very angry and hurt - am i over-reacting?

[lulumama]

absolutely not

how disrespectful

how would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

[TheArmadillo]

you are not overreacting.

[lissie]

and how effing dare he?! as lulu says, disrespectful!

[JoolsToo]

I think I'd invite her to be a friend and in the message I'd say - 'I'd like to be your friend too so I can see what you and my husband are up to, I'm on to you '

[filingcabinet]

Thank you - I thought I was going mad.

[purplepoppet]

You poor love! No you're not over reacting at all...that's awful!!

[filingcabinet]

He said it doesn't mean anything. But I agree it is disrespectful - that is what hurst the most. How do I manage this without looking like some mad banshee - I haven't slept at all

[lulumama]

why does he need to be friends with a woman he has had phone sex with, when he knows that it hurt you so much? having friends of the opposite sex is fine, but not if there was a sexual past ..that she is clearly trying to continue

is she married?

[filingcabinet]

No - at the time I did ring her to ask if they were sleeping together and she said no

[Meeely2]

if it doesn't mean anything, why do it? bit pointless i say.....

[UsedToBeMLS]

Cheeky bitch!

Not sure what else to add! Your dh is unreasonable, has no respect for you and is not accepting how much he has hurt you.

and for you

[lulumama]

tell your DH that you find it disrespectful

that he can have plenty of other friends, just not her, as it makes you upset and uncomfortable

if he disagrees, you need to come down hard on him

[nappyaddict]

if he works with her though surely they are going to have to be friends of some sort.

[nappyaddict]

i do. is that weird?

[nappyaddict]

with 1 of them yes. and we are still friends although not best friends like we were at one point. he has a new gf who doesn't trust that nothing would happen again and he's basically not allowed to see me which also means he has no relationship with his godson (my ds)

i think its a bit unreasonable of her tbh but then nothing has ever happened with us whilst they've been together.

[lulumama]

but, nappyaddict...having a colleague on his facebook with whom there is some history, that is upsetting the OP is totally inappropriate

[tiredemma]

I would be furious if some woman who had 'phone sex' with my DP, now wanted to be an online pal.

Completly out of order.

[Meeely2]

i meant 'if it means nothing why do it', about dh not you....if the woman he had phone sex with and now is a mate on facebook means nothing then why would you waste time talking to them? I've never believed the means nothing line myself, something always means something.

[DivaSkyChick]

I'm sorry, your husband was having phone sex with a woman he worked with WHILE you were married and you're afraid of looking like a banshee?

Tell him if he can't respect you then you can't be married to him. FFS! I don't know you and I know you deserve better than that!

Sorry to sound so crazed, been reading another thread and I'm irate at these cheating assholes and their whores!

[nappyaddict]

but they do work together, and generally i am friends with the people i work with, so if they asked me to be their friend on facebook i would say yes. i am friends with people on facebook who i hardly ever talk to, but its nice to see what old faces are up to and see how they are once in a while.

and it does annoy me how women go around thinking they can tell their partners who to be friends with cos at one point before they even knew them they had a sexual relationship with someone.

the fact that it happened whilst they were actually together does makes a difference obviously.