Would I be out of order...

[melting]

I'm thinking of asking my partner (who stays here on a weekend) to start getting a wash before he comes to bed when he's here.

At the moment he only washes and brushes teeth in a morning and does nothing before going to bed, I have this thing about other peoples germs and it grates on me to see him getting into my clean bed without washing first, especially when I see him wiping his eyes on the pillow cases etc.

When he leaves I have to put clean sheets and duvet cover on the bed.

I know it probably sounds really petty but its driving me mad, would I be out of order to mention it to him? Should a person be expected to wash twice a day?

[pyjamaqueen]

I'm sure if it's what you want he won't mind. Tell him he'll sleep better if he's clean.

[newlifenewname]

I am sort of with you on this, but wiping his eyes on the pillow case???

[melting]

Yeah he wipes sleep from his eyes onto the pillow, or basically just wipes his face on it. Probably sound like I'm taking the piss now but I am genuine. It's not like he's a dirty person, I'm just a bit anal about personal hygiene and don't know if I'm being OTT

[pyjamaqueen]

I suppose ultimately if he doesn't want to wash, you can't make him do it, but I'm sure he'd hate it if he knew you were thinking that about him.

[newlifenewname]

I'm anal about it too, which is why I said I'm with you on this.

If generally clean then I think no shower but if sweaty or dirty with dirt (from tube/garden, etc.) then shower.

Do you shower after sex? I sometimes struggle with the grubbiness afterwards but no problems during.

Sorry if TMI but it is quite important I feel - obsessive cleanliness can be life hampering. I know.

[newlifenewname]

You can't go to bed with dirty teeth - EVER! Even when drunk.

Okay, maybe occasionally if drunk.

[melting]

I do shower after sex yes, more beacuse of the thought of someone elses sweat being on me than anything else .

[melting]

He does smell a bit sweaty occasionally but generally no

[newlifenewname]

Ahaaaa! Now, let me ask you, do you 'mind' if sweat drips on you from someone else? particularly if while having sex?

I do but lord only knows where this problem arose from.

[melting]

oh god yes, it actually makes me feel sick.

Its wierd because house-wise I'm not the tidyest or cleanest person...it's just personal, things that touch me, people-germs.

I think he makes me think of him as being dirty because he's constantly farting and burping which drives me loopy

[newlifenewname]

I am fine with mud, and exterior dirt and mess but not body stuff.

Saliva can offend me also - in certain contexts.

This is interesting talking to you about this.

Eye yuck I can understand. Snot is okay with the children but not adults.

What about that dribble of wee that you know is always there on a man? I prefer no peeing between shower and insertion. Ahem, better shut up now.

[newlifenewname]

I'm serious btw!

[melting]

You sound just like me! I actually put off kissing incase there is more saliva than "neccessary". I seem to be getting much worse lately

[moondog]

He sounds less and less attractive frankly....

[newlifenewname]

Oh geez! You are me/I am you!

If I don't look then I don't see how much saliva I might be dealing with and so can kiss with abandon. If I look first it puts me off.

I tend not to breathe also in case I can smell anything identifiable.

Don't suppose you are a BJ fan. No need to answer.

Those people who speak and have lots of mouth froth or spray - I can barely cope.

And that creamy stuff people get on their lips in the corners. Oh, I nearly pass out.

[melting]

he has a rotten tooth too which I always imagine to be crawling in germs which is another thing that puts me off kissing him.

Thing is he's noticed that I avoid personal contact and I don't know whether to just be honest about it all or will that he heartless?

[CharleyBunnifredNubble]

More saliva than 'necessary'

Necessary for what? What about semen, how do you cope with that, especially if it gets on your sheets?

[moondog]

Rotton tooth???

OMFG

[melting]

I can't think of anything more nausiating than giving a bj to be honest...which again doesnt go down well! LOL

[melting]

if semen gets on the sheets they go straight in the wash and it's actually quite difficult for me to "forget" what happened to them when I next go to use them.

[newlifenewname]

I may have pmsl for the first time in 4 days here. Which is surprising really as I actually do understand the seriousness underlying all this.

More slaiva than necessary means any visible saliva, of course!

Semen is okay so long as it doesn't go anywhere I can see. There are exceptions to this rule but they make no sense to me so shall not try and explain.