as you might remember, i am losing him at the beginning of april, as he leaves the country indefinitely when he leaves the army.
Now it keeps playing through my mind that it might actually be better for me and the kids in teh long run to end our relationship now, so when he goes it wont be as painful for me, yet i also keep thinking i should make the most of it as long as i can and deal with the fall out when it happens. We spoke a small amount about it when we were in prague, and all we could say was that either way is going to be shit, and that we knew the deal when we met. We also agreed neither of us expected to get so involved with each other, so it's all v sad.
Then he asked me to join him (again)or at least go to see him, which i dont think will be possible or even a good idea. Then he said if we were to stay together he'd want me to have a baby!!!!!!!! I've only known him 5months.
I've been sterilised 5 yrs, and tbh even if i hadnt, i wouldnt be rushing into having baby number 5 when i didnt exactly enjoy being pregnant with the other 4, but i was quite taken aback at his comment.
So realistically i know we arent going anywhere, but my dilemma is when it should end.
(And to add to my drama, does anyone remember the spaniard who said he wanted to be with me, who got v upset when i said i was seeing my fella? Well today he sent me an email wishing me a late happy ny and birthday, and told me he wanted me to love him, and he was coming over at the end of jan for a weekend and would i meet him. I said no again, told him i was still involved with the same guy, and he was being unfair to me.)
So to me, leaving my bloke now when i know he is only an hour away seems just as bad as saying goodbye to him and never seeing him again, but i cant see the wood for the trees i think.
Anyone out there more sensible than me? I cant promise to take the advice but i will listen and ponder it.
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Relationships
I'm very happy with my young man, BUT...
19 replies
lou33 · 08/01/2007 12:02
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