How to help get a sweet couple talking again?

[Stickmyoarin]

Good friend saying her relationship with dp is over for good - he dumped her.

On examination, they had a 'full and frank' discussion over the holidays along the lines of him saying he was finding long distance relationship hard (using unfortunate terminology of being 'confused'), she more or less said 'so leave then', and he did... which she says has broken her trust and things will never be the same again.

I don't buy it. They've had a really tough year, but they've really slogged it. He's done some daft things; she may not be the most sympathetic to him - but nothing which hasn't pointed to them both being 110% committed to making it work against the odds. They have a baby together.

I know it is usually a bad idea to intefere, but I feel I can't let them not at least try to make up and reconcile. Their arguments sound to me like just a product of hard things in their life rather than lack of affection - and things will stay hard if they're together or apart. They've drifted apart and communication has deteriorated a lot due to seeing each other v. infrequently (only phone/email). Saying not much in common any more, lost a spark.

Can someone recomend a good strategy or book suitable to help me? I thought of trying to get them to write down key points on what they need from the relationship, what they like and what they don't like. Then I thought of getting them to discuss it in a quiet room with me as a mediator to drop the temperature, and perhaps some ground rules (e.g. no interuptions, speak about own feelings rather than accuse).

Geography and childcare means we'd only have one shot at a structured thing - although they'll obviously be in contact about baby. Could that kind of thing work? What are the dangers?

[TheArmadillo]

It isn't up to you to 'buy it'

You can never know exactly what is going on in someone elses relationship.

What you can do is provide support and a shoulder for a friend going through a hard time who is probably confused as well.

If they choose to have some kind of mediation then that is up to them, and yes you can suggest it, but no more. The best mediator is someone who is not involved and has no vested interest in either the couple getting back together or splitting up.

I know you are wanting to do what is best for your friends, but getting involved with the best intentions is not a good idea for anyone involved.

Be a friend, but it is up to them as to what they must do.

[Stickmyoarin]

Armadillo - I think you're right, but can't think of anyone else who could mediate. With respect to professional help: where can you get it fast and free?

Of course not my business to say they should get back together. However, providing some help to smooth them improving their communication... when the alternative is broken home and broken hearts?

Anyone else with some thoughts?