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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

My husband kissed another woman....

22 replies

jstbcs · 06/01/2007 20:08

Dont know what to do... he was a bit drunk,,,, i was in the room at the time (was at a party) a friend saw them do it. havent confronted him yt. am so devastated... it was am n intimate kiss... mcuh mor ethan frineds... am shaking... fuck... bastard...

OP posts:
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SherlockLGJ · 06/01/2007 20:09

Really when did this happen ??

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lulumama · 06/01/2007 20:09

just becasue.....

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PeachyClair · 06/01/2007 20:10

Oh poor you

now before you confront him, sit down. yes what he did was wrong and he shouldn't have done it, but it was a kiss and drink does impair judgement.

You need to at least begin to understand where you stand on this before you go charging in. For me, I could deal with it (albeit being rather upset / furious)- for othrs it would be too much of a breach of trust. You need to know not what others think, but what YOU do.

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jampots · 06/01/2007 20:11

was it a kiss or a full on snog?

i personally wouldnt worry myself but then i realise not everyone is like me

best thing is to confront him about it and explain your insecurities to him- maybe she came on to him

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southeastastra · 06/01/2007 20:12

did is just happen?

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lulumama · 06/01/2007 20:14

i apologise if this is not correct

i believe this to be in response to another thread and is a test, as it were, to see how some of us who have posted on that thread , respond how we said we would

if it is not the case, then my most humble and abject apologies to the OP

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jampots · 06/01/2007 20:16

what lulu said although this is my truthful response to either situation

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welshboris · 06/01/2007 20:17

jstbcs is a regular poster though?

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mellowma · 06/01/2007 20:17

Message withdrawn

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danceswithnewboots · 06/01/2007 20:18

what other thread?

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foxinsocks · 06/01/2007 20:20

jstbcs has been around for ages - I very much doubt this is a wind up

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lulumama · 06/01/2007 20:21

as i said, if i am wrong, my absolute most geniune apologies........just the timing seemed very , well, odd..in relation to the other thread.

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SmileysPeople · 06/01/2007 20:25

I suspect your not wrong Lulumama, far too coincidental.
Very unpleasant.
I have requested the other thread be deleted, hopefully it will be gone very soon.

Sanctimonious, judgemental nastiness, is what it is.

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crunchie · 06/01/2007 20:38

OK in order to answer the OP properly, I would be
a) devestated
b) think about circumstance (party/alcohol)
c) realise that unless there were other signs/symptoms of a bad relationship it was probably a drunken mistake
d) make him f'ing grovel for hmmm let me think........at least a luxury w/e away, LARGE bouquet of flowers, expensive jewellry

There but the grace of god is what I think in these situations

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misdee · 06/01/2007 20:48

eh? why wouldnt this be real?

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PanicPants · 06/01/2007 20:56

What other thread, and why would it need deleting?

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IdrisTheDragon · 06/01/2007 20:58

There's a thread where someone has mentioned doing this - it may have been deleted though.

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divastrop · 06/01/2007 20:59

i would be contacting a solicitor first thing monday after removing every trace of him from my home.why is kissing another woman any different to shagging another woman?its still a betrayal,and to do it in the same room

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Bananaknickers · 06/01/2007 22:35

confront him give him a hard time. Wouldn't throw him out . Slap the bitch net time you see her simple

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Anniegetyourgun · 07/01/2007 11:02

Oh, and one word of warning: if you didn't actually see the incident yourself, be very sure that the witness to the alleged snog is totally reliable. Some people enjoy stirring up a drama, or don't realise how they word things makes it sound a whole lot worse. Maybe an Awful Truth has come to light, or maybe it really was a once-off, fairly innocent event. Be very sure of the facts before you do anything irrevocable.

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Daisypops · 07/01/2007 12:41

If this is a genuine post jstbcs has my sympathy. I caught my bloke snogging another girl in a bar when we were on holiday together, he too was drunk and says he can't remember any of it I was distraught. Got a flight home the next morning from USA! Some say a bit extreme but if I'd have stayed I would have gone mad and probably killed him. Everyonedeals with situations like this differently. I don't think I will ever get over it although time does heal. DP has now made it up to me and we are happy. I still have trust issues but who can blame me. If it happens again I'll chop his dick off and leave him!

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Daisypops · 07/01/2007 12:42

Just re-read my post and realised it wasn't very helpful but my point is, as horrendous as it is you can get over it if you want to but your DH has some serious explaining and grovelling to do. It will take time. x

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