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20 replies

howtojumphim · 04/01/2007 13:48

Right have changed my name for this because I feel a bit pathetic that I even need to ask for advice on this...

I have been seeing a guy for a little while, we are friends who have become more. We went out last month for a big work night out and had planned for him to come back to mine afterwards (for the first time) but he got way too drunk that night and I sent him home rather than have someone not remember anything. He was really apologetic and said that he was just so shy he started drinking too much to deal with his nerves and turned into an idiot. I accepted that apology and moved on and we saw each other for a couple of hours before christmas and all is fine. Because we've both had busy christmasses with our families (both been married before and both have children) we haven't had a chance to meet up but we have a date for him to come to my house for a dvd and bottle of wine(1) tomorrow. We've emailed every day and texted each other so it's kind of known that this will be the official change from friends to more but he's said he's nervous.

To be honest what works for me generally is a man really taking control and calling the shots bedroom wise. This guy is not like that at all. He's really shy, not too long out of his marriage etc. I really don't want to just jump him (although I think he's be relieved) but not sure how to deal with it. If he was confident and made a move I'd be all superconfident and really go for it, but I think he's a bit shy of making a move. He says he can really talk to me on email/text etc but clams up in person.

I could just jump him and lead him to the bedroom after the film and a bottle of wine, but does anyone have any ideas about how to get him to make the first move? Or any good chat up lines to lighten the mood??

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juicychops · 04/01/2007 14:56

This sounds a bit similar to me and my dp when we first got together. We had known eachther for years both split with partners and i called him to meet up as we hadn't seen eachother for a long time. He came to my house we had a drink and just chatted all night.

He was more forward than me as i was nervous but knew what i wanted. As the night went on we was moving closer together whilst talking and he had his hand on my leg to start with which led to him tubbing my leg under my trousers (from the bottoms of my trousers - by that time i had my legs on his lap)

Hours later when the sexual tension was building up a bit he got up and crouched down on the floor next to where i was slouched on the sofa and started to kiss me. Then one thing led to another and i led him upstairs.

So maybe just something like that? i know it probably sounds stupid reading it but at the time just fiddling with the other one's hand or rubbing their leg or arm (not in a really obvious way) is nice. and then as the night goes on and the drink gets you a bit more confident, go a little bit further.

It doesn't have to be big obvious steps, just subtle flirty things. They don't seem silly when your in themoment