For all those who love to offer bedroom and dating advice - go for it here!

[howtojumphim]

Right have changed my name for this because I feel a bit pathetic that I even need to ask for advice on this...

I have been seeing a guy for a little while, we are friends who have become more. We went out last month for a big work night out and had planned for him to come back to mine afterwards (for the first time) but he got way too drunk that night and I sent him home rather than have someone not remember anything. He was really apologetic and said that he was just so shy he started drinking too much to deal with his nerves and turned into an idiot. I accepted that apology and moved on and we saw each other for a couple of hours before christmas and all is fine. Because we've both had busy christmasses with our families (both been married before and both have children) we haven't had a chance to meet up but we have a date for him to come to my house for a dvd and bottle of wine(1) tomorrow. We've emailed every day and texted each other so it's kind of known that this will be the official change from friends to more but he's said he's nervous.

To be honest what works for me generally is a man really taking control and calling the shots bedroom wise. This guy is not like that at all. He's really shy, not too long out of his marriage etc. I really don't want to just jump him (although I think he's be relieved) but not sure how to deal with it. If he was confident and made a move I'd be all superconfident and really go for it, but I think he's a bit shy of making a move. He says he can really talk to me on email/text etc but clams up in person.

I could just jump him and lead him to the bedroom after the film and a bottle of wine, but does anyone have any ideas about how to get him to make the first move? Or any good chat up lines to lighten the mood??

[funkimummy]

Cor blimey, the excitement!!

Firstly, let me just say that I'm no expert, just yer average lass next door type thing!

I say, go with the flow on the evening, and just see how it goes. It might take him a couple of dates more to feel relaxed enough to jump ya, then again, after a couple of bottles he might be fine. Give him a snog and see where it goes?!?!?!

[nailpolish]

how exciting!

i say flirt like mad

be bold

if he doesnt sit beside you bat your eyelids and say "sit closer to me" and smile

squeeze up beside him and say things like "you smell gorgeous"
this will give him confidence that you are not going to knock him back and he may well then make the first move!

tell him he has lovely sexy hands and stroke them

after a couple of drinks you will be confident to do more

one final thing - wear a wonderbra

works every time

[eefs]

I think that if you like a man to take control and he is obviously wussing out at this early and easy point (he must know you like him) than perchance this is not the man for you.

Now if you just want some fun, then jump him yourself.

[howtojumphim]

eefs - we've both made it clear that it's a bit of fun. We've both come out of long marriages and have decided to get back on the dating road by having fun with each other, nothing serious really, but we are mates from work too. We've texted and emailed all the flirty stuff so we know it's on the cards and think once it's happened once then he'll lose his nerves and be the cocky confident guy he is normally.

Thanks for the advice, I'll try dropping all the heavy hints first.

As for the wonderbra, I've got too much for that, but have got a nice supportive lacy one lined up, oh and my lucky knickers too.

[Listmaker]

My dp was hugely unsure and shy when we met as he had just come out of a very long marriage, indeed he actually couldn't do the deed for months! Now I am like you - I usually like someone who is confident and takes control but I fell for him totally despite all that!

Our first moves were a bit clumsy and awkward but now we have the best sex I've ever had (and I've had a fair bit!) so I am really glad I was patient and didn't let his nervousness put me off.

[eefs]

fair enough - that makes sense.
lucky knickers must get me a pair of those

[madamez]

Hmm, well, good luck and all that - but a bloke who shows a tendency to be nervous might blow it even more if every time you meet it's like "tonight's the night". Maybe he's got cock issues, to be blunt - like it tends to wilt under pressure.

Have fun by all means, but try not to attach too much importance to it. If it doesn't work out, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

[howtojumphim]

madamez - hmmn hadn't thought about the cock issues to be honest - but now that you say it, that might be an issue.

I think some of his nervousness seems to come from the fact that he knows he turns into a complete a#'hole when he's drunk so he tends to stay sober. He needs a bit of a drink to feel confident to make a move but is aware that if he drinks too much he turns mean (thinking he's being funny). Maybe he drinks but when drunk has cock issues, will have to find out - lol

Anyway, I purposefully haven't raised the drink issue, he said he'd like a drink with me but promises he's not going to be a git (he brought it up not me, I'm making a point of not making him feel bad)