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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Do you know that there ARE wonderful men / dads / DH's / DPs

129 replies

Twiglett · 30/12/2006 16:57

and I'd like to hear about some of them

sometimes I see all the relationships that people put up with on here (and in RL) and I wonder whether some people actually know that men can be fabulous and human and decent and kind

DH is great ... yes he winds me up at times.. but then I'm not easy to live with at times either.

he gets on and does things that need doing .. ok admittedly not the way that I would do them but he still does them

he plays with the kids .. the kind of stuff I can't stand like getting down and playing board games

he loads and empties the dishwasher and washes up and hoovers and he doesn't EXPECT dinner on the table and will happily cook .. he brings me breakfast in bed .. he's been off work for 2 weeks and apart from today has been up with kids every day

he wouldn't even understand the concept of being unfair or abusive ... emotionally, physically or monetarily

and yes he's exasperating and annoying at times .. but then aren't we all

lets hear it for the good guys .. who I firmly believe even without evidence to the contrary are in the MAJORITY!

OP posts:

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DarrellRivers · 30/12/2006 17:03

Hear hear.
DH drives me demented at times, and we row about the same old things once in a while, but those are the worst things I can say about him
I bet I drive him around the bend but we have learnt to compromise and enjoy the good things in life.We have a laugh and together are united against the outside world and the things that are thrown against us and our family.
And he loves our DC as much as I do

JodieG1 · 30/12/2006 17:03

I believe my dh is a good and decent bloke overall. I did post about him a few days ago moaning but we have been through ups and downs and gone through a hell of a lot together and he's always supported me. He's great with the kids, helps out and is usually loving and caring. When I posted about him I was in a terrible mood and very hormonal but I love him so much and generally very happy. We have a few problems but nothing major and I'm not perfect either, I know I have moods and ups and downs. Anyway, I know I have a good man and am very happy

Tinker · 30/12/2006 17:05

Ditto twiglett

catj · 30/12/2006 17:05

I've got a fab DH too. He puts up with me for a start . He's brilliant with the children and is quite happy to look after them when I go off gallivanting with my horses.
He is so domesticated that when I spent most of this year in hospital with dd4,I knew the other three would be properly fed,dressed etc. (In fact he cooks far better meals than I do!)

unknownrebelbang · 30/12/2006 17:06

You are describing my DH Twiglett.

He is the only thing that has kept me sane during the years when our boys were babies, and now as they grow up.

He is still the very best thing in my life, alongside the boys.

Yes, he still manages to irritate the hell out of me at times, but he definitely gets the raw end of the deal - me!

RubberDuckWithCranberrySauce · 30/12/2006 17:10

My dh is fab too - been married 10.5 years now and just entering a second honeymoon period by all accounts My life has improved immeasurably by knowing him and I truly believe we are soul mates (feel free to vomit now ).

He's great with the kids, pulls more than his fair share about the house. Idealogically (I know that's spelled wrong but I don't care) we are very similar but have diverse enough interests that we're not in each other's pockets all the time. I've often felt a bit lost when out for drinks with friends during the "moan about our partners" section of the evening as I don't feel I have anything to contribute.

Of course, he's not perfect. We row occasionally. We have niggles about each other. But basically, we're pretty darned happy, even though that seems rather unfashionable these days.

QuootiepieTheNewYearsAss · 30/12/2006 17:14

I shall watch this thread in awe!

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 30/12/2006 17:15

Twiglett - did we marry identical twins?

When I see 'If there was one thing you could change about your dh/dp what would it be?' threads I never have anything to post. It's not that there's nothing I dislike about dh, it's more that there's so much that I love and am so happy to have, that I don't want to change anything about him. After all, I'm not perfect and he tolerates and accepts my imperfections. Besides, it's all part of what makes dh himself.

turquoise · 30/12/2006 17:16

I agree there are plenty of good guys around.
Just wish there were a few available ones!

Dinosaur · 30/12/2006 17:16

You are so lucky.

Perigrine · 30/12/2006 17:18

DP is the most wonderful guy in the world, and I deserve him. I kissed lots of frogs first .

But I try never to take him for granted, I got up before him this morning to make him breakfast in bed as he was working, when I could have had a long lie. But he also does really sweet things for me - I haven't cleaned my bathrooms since he moved in, He takes the car and checks all that stuff without me ever knowing - after about 6 months I said something about the windscreen washer never running out - and he just smiled and said - that's something you don't need to think about anymore. LOVE HIM TO BITS!!!

SnafuOutOfHiding · 30/12/2006 17:18

Kepp 'em coming, I need a bit of hope to start the new year with

Perigrine · 30/12/2006 17:19

And he makes me laugh every day - normally at myself ]grin]

SnafuOutOfHiding · 30/12/2006 17:19

Keep, even. Sheesh.

Then again, isn't this just boasting, considering you lot have obviously snapped up all the good ones and there's nowt but the dregs for the rest of us?

wethreebobkings · 30/12/2006 17:19

My dh is deffo one of the good guys too and I love him to bits.

I have been known to moan about him, especially when ds was a baby. But now ds is older he really does pull his weight.

QuootiepieTheNewYearsAss · 30/12/2006 17:22

Do any of these fellas have single brothers?

unknownrebelbang · 30/12/2006 17:23

Aw Snafu,it may be boasting, but seriously DH is the one thing that keeps me sane.

SnafuOutOfHiding · 30/12/2006 17:25

Oh I know, rebel, I'm only teasing. It's nice to hear happy stories

Freckle · 30/12/2006 17:26

Well, I'm not going to say dh is perfect. He isn't and I wouldn't want him to be because I would then have to be perfect and I'm not.

But he is loving and generous with a wicked sense of humour. He dotes on his boys and, despite all he may say about me (mostly in a jokey way ), gives me most of what I want and all of what I need.

He works his socks off for our family, but generally gives me that last say on what our money is spent on. He often takes the boys off for hours on end doing interesting things with them and ensures he is always there for their important events, sports days, concerts, etc.

I don't think he knows the meaning of being abusive in any way and I trust him 100% with every aspect of my and my boys' lives.

Helgand · 30/12/2006 17:26

Yep, mine is brilliant too. Just downright respectful and thoughtful and loving. I clockwatch for him to come home after work. We both annoy each other and we're not glamorous or rich or anything, just happy. I will love him until I breathe my last breath.
Some of the dhs on here totally shock me and I hope they read this thread and feel ashamed for treating their dws so badly.

NappiesGalooooooooooooria · 30/12/2006 17:28

what a great thread!

my dp rocks. he loves/worships/respects/adores me, like no other ever has, and regualrly tells me so. he cooks amazing meals, cleans and tidies without ever expecting me to. can do all the childcare stuff (but is still a bit fearful of being left with all 3 babies alone - he would do it if it were neccessary tho).
he encourages me to be me, to follow my dreams, to love and respect myself for who i am. he doesnt for one second make me feel like im sponging for living off his money, and encourages me to indulge myself and spend more time/money on myself...
he spoilt me absolutely rotton on my 30th birthday, not just expensively, but really bloody thoughtfully.
and hes brilliant in bed.
and he never complained once when i went off sex for about 8-9 months after ds3 was born.
i could go on for hours actually. hes brilliant. i am truly truly happy.

emsiewill · 30/12/2006 17:28

Yes, I have to admit that my dh is a diamond.

He does all the food planning and shopping, and the majority of the cooking, unless he's working the evening shift.

He is equally as able to look after the dd's as me - perhaps not in the same way as me, but certainly I never worry about whether they are eating, sleeping etc, etc when he is in charge.

He never minds me having a better social life than him, coming in drunk, etc etc. He encourages me to have a life outside the family and endures my choir concerts without moaning (unlike the dd's!).

He is not very good at knowing what happens when, and what needs doing, but he is happy to work to a list, and follows instructions gladly.

I do moan about him, and he does annoy me, but I read some of the threads on here, and realise how lucky I am...

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emsiewill · 30/12/2006 17:30

Oh, and should have added he thinks I am the most attractive woman in the world. (and really, I promise I don't even feature in the top 100 ). But even though he is always up for it, he doesn't hold it against me when I'm not...

iota · 30/12/2006 17:31

my dh is fab too

I tend not to say too much about him on MN as there are so many people with relationship problems.

WideWebWitch · 30/12/2006 17:33

Both dh and ex dh are great, there definitely are some great men out there and I've been married to 2 of them (vomit if you see fit) Maybe they should be dh1 and dh2?!

ex dh is still my friend. He sees ds every other weekend and more often when he's not working/in the holidays. He's paid maintenance - a higher amount than he is legally obliged to - pretty much since we split up (barring a brief period when we were getting over it) and he voluntarily increased it a couple of months ago when he saw our childcare costs increase. I like and respect him and he and dh2 get on. He spends plenty of time at our house, is lovely to dd (who is not his, is dh2's) and has agreed to bring up both children if anything were to happen to me and dh.

dh2 is my best friend (gosh, at risk of ex being my friend while current dh is my best friend, sorry!) and is fantastic. I love him, admire him and fancy him. He does an equal share of childcare, houswork and all dull domestic stuff. He is cooking for us as I type this. He is a better grown up than I am, despite being younger than me and is always the first one to say something sensible in a row and to point out to me what I'm really cross about. I trust him and massively value his opinion, he's often right about things and he's the person whose company I most enjoy.

Anyway, I do think I've been very lucky but I'll stop now before you really puke.

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