Hi,
I'll try to keep this fairly brief.
For a few weeks my dh of over 9 years barely spoke to me. In the end I gave up trying to talk to him too, then I suggested marriage counselling which he said yes to. and a date night (i got a babysitter) which he said yes to. The morning of our date night (it didnt happen) I asked him if he was hiding something from me (thinking maybe an illness), in short he admitted to having an affair. After many many lies turns out it went on for a few months of dirty calls and texts. then within days of us getting back from our holiday abroad (the photos hadnt even been framed) he started sleeping with her-going to work early , coming home late. but at 4am and 1am i was asleep. I work nights, when I was asleep he was taking our 2 year old on dates with her!!!
ive spent years asking for more communication eg let me know how his days going on his break at work (we used to work at the same place but opposite shifts, until i left there just over a year ago), he never did, never replied to my texts etc
yet she got many texts and calls everyday- after i found out i checked his bill-as i paid his bill!!!
i asked and never got, she just got them. apparently because she told him she fancied him. i told him i loved him!
she got off to her on the phone in my bed! which i'm still paying for!
after finding out i instantly gave him option her or me 'i dont know' etc etc
(hes 46 and shes 21 btw, im 28, we have 3 children together)
a few days after throwing him out he came home saying he'd made a mistake and wanted me back. i asked if just for the kids. he said'i dont know'
a few days later still saying 'i swear on the kids lives ill never do it again etc' he slept with her again
oh yes, every time was unprotected and they talked about having a baby together
anyway.... hes still trying to come back and i keep considering it.
but i keep being let down.
i know hes a twat
i can see nothing wold really change
i love him. dont know why but i still want him.
is it because he was my 1st? because we have 3 children together? because i had completely trusted him? because we were together virtually my whole adult life so far?
i know no-one can answer this.
its been nearly 7 weeks now!
:'(
has anyone else got back together with a cheating partner and its worked?
i know those who have and some where it hasnt worked.. but none of them did it to the extent my dh did.
im now depressed (i am seeking help for this)
one day calm the next angry, the next i cant stop crying.
how long and how to i sort myself out please.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
this hurts so much :(
jimmijam · 02/09/2014 11:30
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.