Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I was really hoping you were all wrong

18 replies

noexcuseiammental · 02/09/2014 02:51

I have another thread on this, but just to recaep, I found my OH on a site, he claimed that he had nothing to do with it blah, blah, blah. Because I couldn't prove it one way or the other I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He is away this evening with "work", so I have logged onto his computer and checked the history. Fuck the whole nothing to do with it claim, but what angers me more than anything is he gave me a lie in (i thought he was being nice) he was on porn sites, my son would of been in the room with him.

I really cannot start to tell you what is on my fucking mind. What sort of a father looks at porn while their two year old is in the same room.

I might (a big might) have gotten over the web sites (these are not porn websites, which I probably wouldn't of given two shites about, these are meeting up websites for sex) but he has been looking at these sites along with proper pron two guys shagging one woman sites, infront of my fucking son. (I might still be fuming) I am not sure why I am posting, because I have ended the relationship but it doesn't stop me from being sad and angry

OP posts:

Report

BitOutOfPractice · 02/09/2014 04:09

Of course it doesn't. You have every right to be absolutely fucking livid with this twat.

Have you got any RL support?

kaykayblue · 02/09/2014 08:12

So are you going to throw him to the kerb?

You should take screen shots of the internet history. Isn't this sort of thing pretty much neglect? Or something?

And for the love of god don't let him try and "convince" you that you are somehow wrong.

Again.

Theoldhag · 02/09/2014 08:25

Has he have any redeeming qualities?

Theoldhag · 02/09/2014 08:25

*Does not has.

AMessageToYouRudie · 02/09/2014 08:28

Hi
just wanted to say well done on being so strong, you feel sad now but I hope you will have good things come your way soon. My best friends "darling [arse] partner used dating sites and porn while watching their son, had an affair and then left her.... but fast forward a year she has met a man who adores her, adores and respects her son, she really has turned her life around and he is lovely, so hang on in there, your turn next, big hug for you though matie....

BaronessBomburst · 02/09/2014 08:29

If it puts your mind at rest regarding your son, I doubt very much that he would have seen the porn. Far more likely that he'd plonked him in front of cBeebies.

Bluestocking · 02/09/2014 08:31

I'm pretty sure exposing children to sexually explicit material would be a CP matter and this would therefore have a bearing on his contact with your DS after you split.

Lucylloyd13 · 02/09/2014 08:45

How have things been apart from this? A first child can put pressure on a relationship.

noexcuseiammental · 02/09/2014 08:46

Thank you for your replies.

I agree my son would of been far more interested in cbeebies than what daddy was doing.

No I don't have any RL support. I am just going to get through today and then will deal with tomorrow.

The relationship is over as far as I am concerned and what he does now is none of my business

OP posts:

Vivacia · 02/09/2014 08:59

Have you spoken to him?

HumblePieMonster · 02/09/2014 09:02

Reasonable concern for your son's welfare, plus a bit of displacement - that anger is partly your anger at your OH's betrayal.
Well done on the fury, it will carry you through the 'getting rid' phase.

AnyFucker · 02/09/2014 09:09

Good for you. Nice to see a woman on here with boundaries that are non negotiable.

"A first child puts strain on a relationship" ?

What a pile of apologist shite.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 02/09/2014 09:36

How have things been apart from this? A first child can put pressure on a relationship.

Actually, having the partner that's an utter wankbadger can put pressure on a relationship. Thankfully, the OP has fixed that problem by LTB.

Well done on that, OP.

BitOutOfPractice · 02/09/2014 11:27

Lucy are you really asking that? How have things been apart from him being a lying scumbag?

noexcuseiammental · 02/09/2014 14:42

TBF to my ex, he was a very good partner up till this point and a brilliant father.

However I don't feel the fact that he was a good partner (or I just didn't catch him before) allows him to do the dirty on me.

OP posts:

noexcuseiammental · 02/09/2014 14:45

And yes I sent him some texts ending it last night and this morning he has messaged me back he informed me that he didn't want to do it over text and to get off his fucking computer.

Not sure what he wants to discuss unless it is our son

OP posts:

hellsbellsmelons · 02/09/2014 14:48

Ohhh what a charmer he is.
So sorry it's not turned out well.

FrootLoopy · 02/09/2014 14:51

Fucking computer? How very apt. But the point of the matter is that computers shouldn't actually BE for fucking, should they?!

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.