Feeling lost

[Norklessnora]

I feel so lost at the moment. I just don't feel connected to my husband at all. He feels like an irritant and I just don't enjoy spending time with him. I feel taken for granted, he just doesn't make much of an effort - he will text me every day telling me he loves me, he will tell me he thinks I'm 'hot'... but it just doesn't feel like enough. I've tried to talk to him about it but he thinks it's all in my head. I've lost a huge amount of weight and this has had an enormous affect on my confidence, I don't know if this is related? I just don't know what to do.

I don't really know what anyone can say to be honest! Sorry. I don't know what to do and it's eating me up.

[NormHonal]

Do you feel "numb"? Do you think you could be depressed?

[thestamp]

Why have you lost weight recently? Have you been trying to, or have you been ill, or?

Do you work, or study, or have children, or some combination of that?

How long have you and your husband been married and how old are you both?

Just trying to get some context. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. You do sound depressed. Have you seen the GP at all?

[Norklessnora]

I don't feel depressed at all, I have had depression in the past so I think I'd recognise it - I don't know?

I know this probably sounds awful of me but I'm getting rather a lot of male attention, and I just wonder why it's not from my husband.

[Norklessnora]

Thestamp I was morbidly obese and lost the weight to be healthier for our two children. I work full time shifts as does husband. We are early 30's, married 7 years.

[Quitelikely]

You said he texts you every day to say he loves you and finds you hot? Hmm sounds to me like you think the grass is greener elsewhere.........nope the grass is greener where you water it

[Norklessnora]

I'm not even contemplating an affair or anything like it, please don't think that that is what I'm insinuating.

[thestamp]

i hope this isn't too prying or triggering a question, but did you ever experience sexual abuse or any abusive relationships (including with your parents) as a younger person? as a child, teenager or young adult?

do you know why you were obese before? were you always larger, or did you put on weight at a certain point in your life?

also, do you work overnight shifts? how much sleep do you get?

sorry for all the questions.

[Norklessnora]

Sorry - that probably sounded a bit arsey - not my intention

[Norklessnora]

No, no abuse, perfect childhood. I overate, I had problems with emotional eating and my weight soared, then I had PND after our first and it took me a long time to be in the right frame of mind to lose it, if that makes any sense?

[Ragwort]

Your DH loves you whether you are fat or thin, the other men giving you attention are doing so purely on what you look like, and to be blunt they probably wouldn't have given you any attention before - so are those the sort of men you really want in your life?

I might sound harsh but I have lost significant amounts of weight (and put most back on) so I know a little about getting extra attention but my DH has stuck with me through thick and thin because he loves me not my shape.

Well done on losing weight, it is a great thing to do for yourself.

[Norklessnora]

Oh no I know, I don't actually want any other man in my life! I just wish I knew why I felt this way.