Name changed for this.
Short story...
We are spiralling more and more into debt and keep arguing about it. We have more than enough money coming in which leaves us over £100 a week for food etc and dh and I both have equal spending money. Or we did - before something major happened with our home (£5k worth of work) that used all our savings and tipped us into the red.
Now we cannot seem to get out of it. It's just one thing after another and dh and I keep arguing over what is acceptable spending etc and how to manage it.
For example, we have two dc. The eldests birthday was this week (12). We took them shopping to spend their birthday money and also buy school shoes for them. Dc has very wide feet and standard shoes do not fit. We went into 20 shops. We ended up back in a particular shop. The only shoes that fitted properly were £50. I got them for dc because to me it's important they fit well and good shoes will last for school rather than buying several pairs.
Dh visibly groaned and seemed really pissed off. We then returned back to the car and found we had been charged a lot more for parking than we thought. Yes we should have checked but we normally park there and it's never been that much before. We got stung hugely..
Then (!) We came home to find our oven has broken. It will cost about £100 to fix. We have no savings and are already £800 overdrawn so we will have to either add this to the overdraft or to a credit card (owe about £2k on one card).
The main problem I have is dh just totally overreacts in my opinion. Yes it's horrible being in debt and yes I want to sort it out but dh will literally go into a huge rage or massive sulk - leaving dc feeling awful after spending birthday money for example (money that others had given - we only gave a small amount ourselves) and is now hardly talking to any of us.
Yes we have debt. We can manage it if we buckle down to it. I have worked out a budget and I think we can crack it but dh is so negative it's like the world has ended.
Am I being unreasonable to be more laid back about this? He keeps saying I don't allow him to be angry but I just think what is the point of being angry over sodding money when we have debt but it's at a manageable level and we have a tiny mortgage compared to most people (under £200 a month).
I don't even know what im asking. I just feel so fed up with him going on and on about it. And I feel bad for dc about the school shoes when they really needed them and dh will think nothing of spending that much on shoes for himself.
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Money money money :(
pearsandpickle · 20/08/2014 12:55
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