DH wasting money we dont have!

[Missymoo1987]

So my DH is addicted (though he wint admit it) to a "FREE" app game on his phone. He's on it every spare minute of every day. I found out the other month when using his paypal (with his knowledge) there were quite a few payments to this game. A few pounds here and there every few days....this amounted to £85 in one month!! Its a bloody free game!!! We had it out he apologised said he couldn't believe it had amounted to so much and would stop.

I said id keep checking his paypal to make sure and he was like fine!

Needed to check his bank statement for when working out the finances for this month and he's been pai g by card instead!!! There were 3 payments of £31.99 plus a phone bill of £55 wjen his normal bill is £20!!!

I AM LIVID!! We scrape by every month. No luxuries or nights out and Ilitteraly budget to the penny with tge money I get. It makes me so sad he is putting this damn game over his family.

How do I broach this with him again? How do I make him see sense??

I would appreciate your advice!

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

Give him beans on toast every night for a month and tell him he's spent his food money on the game.

[DifferentNow]

That's unacceptable and ridiculous behaviour imho. I'd insist that he deletes the app immediately.

[DifferentNow]

The bigger issue for me actually would be the sneakiness and deceitful behaviour.

[Missymoo1987]

I think thats why I haven't said anything to him yet is that its the lying! We've been through this already what is it he didn't get last time! Its tge summer holidays we have 2 kids that money could if been spent on having some lovely days out : (

[Squidstirfry]

Break his phone. Force cold turkey.

[RonneandFrankie]

Curly's suggestion actually made me laugh. I would go with that.

That's a lot of money to be spending on a game :/ I hope he sees some sense.

[Anniegetyourgun]

Does he believe that it's only real money if/when you find out about it? This is a husband and father, right - someone you might reasonably expect to be an adult? My totally non-worldly-wise teenager always asks before spending anything on game peripherals and either refunds it in cash immediately or trades off against birthday/Christmas presents etc.

I say invite him to bend over and park the damn' phone where it won't see the light of day.

[trikken]

Tell him to delete it. If not he has a problem.

[SavoyCabbage]

He must be actually addicted, if he's gone this far. Especially after the first conversation you had with him.

When is he doing it?

He needs to delete it completely. And find something else to do. So if he's doing it on the train to work for example, he needs to read or do a rubrics cube or watch cartoons.

[Finola1step]

That's dreadful.

The money he has spent on this "free" game could have bought a whole load of new school uniform, shoes, winter coats for the dc. That's how I would see it.

Yep beans on toast every night until he has paid if his "debt". He had to understand that he has spent family money irresponsibly and the consequences are that he has to eat on a strict budget for a period of time. And no Heinz baked beans, economy all the way. Insists he deletes the game.

[Ivehearditallnow]

Yep I think Curly has it nailed. Although make him cook the beans himself.

What an arse.

How are things with you two otherwise OP? If money is tight this amount of money must really sting x

[Mum4Fergus]

Deleted apps are easily reinstalled...he needs to relinquish his phone/pad/whatever means he uses to access it I'm afraid.

[Fairyfellowsmasterstroke]

I agree with the beans on toast however I think that DifferentNow has nailed it by saying its a trust/deceit issue.

He has ignored your concerns, lied to you and then tried to hide the deceit - that would be my major concern.

[FunkyBoldRibena]

£150 in one month on a game?

You need to be sat down when he gets home today for a serious chat. A very serious chat.

What a twat.

[grobagsforever]

sell his phone to pay the debt?

[ScrambledEggAndToast]

Agree with everything everyone has said re. making him give up the phone/tablet. Do you have a joint account? If you do, maybe you should consider having separate accounts in addition to this and pay "pocket money" into them once a month. He can then spend as much of his pocket money as he wants until it runs out but nothing out of the joint account.

Just out of interest, what game is it?

[Vitalstatistix]

he needs to go without in order to recoup that money.

so if he buys lunch at work - he can't. He'll just have to make do with making himself a sandwich to take.

If he has anything that he does - he'll have to miss it.

tv package that has channels he likes? - downgrade it, removing them.

A nice treat he looks forward to in the shopping - don't buy it.

etc etc

He personally has to lose something that he enjoys in order that he feels the result of spending money on ridiculous games.

He sounds ridiculous, to be honest.

[RedRoom]

He's clearly addicted or he wouldn't be paying for it secretly and playing it non-stop.

Totally agree that the money must be recovered by him going without for a while. I'd Ebay some of his possessions and buy him absolutely basic food so that he gets the message that his crappy game is eating into a budget for essential family things like food, bills and school uniform.

[hellsbellsmelons]

I litteraly budget to the penny with the money I get
What do you mean by this?
Do you get his entire wage and then split everything?
This is a massive red flag for me.

[Adarajames]

^ or just a household with very limited income where literally every penny counts and has to be carefully spent!

[Jan45]

He sounds about 12, tell him he either behaves like an adult or he can gtf.

[EarthWindFire]

I litteraly budget to the penny with the money I get
What do you mean by this?
Do you get his entire wage and then split everything?
This is a massive red flag for me.

Have to say I agree.

[CookieDoughKid]

I'd rebudget so you'd get more for your household income so there is (much) less in the pot for him to spend. If there is £150 for him to spend on games (ok - it's money you haven't got but he still spent it!) then next month, take out £150+a lot more out of the account.

I'd also make sure he doesn't easily get credit and access to overdrafts etc.

[BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted]

I'd look at this as him deliberately sabotaging your present and your futures. He's a selfish and sneaky arsehole. I'd read him the Riot Act and mean it. How stupid of him to think that trying to hide it from you would work? Has he always been this think? It hasn't worked so if he wants to carry on pissing family money down the drain he needs to get a second job to finance it. Or fuck off with his precious game and play it somewhere else.

[BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted]

Sorry: think = thick