ships in the night is this normal

[whatisforteamum]

For many years now DH and i have worked alot of hours..not for fancy hols or iphones just to pay the bills and mortgage.i always thought that when it was paid we could do little things together ie the odd trip to the pub,walk by the river that kind of thing.The mortgage got paid and DH had a heart attack and has been v tired since.He dropped his overtime so we now see more of each other.The thing is he works along way from home for little money.Getting up 430 and home 6.30.I tried to tell him at 54 this would tire him out but he wont find a job locally.
we have had big rows about it as i cant see the harm in looking for another job that doesnt take so much travel/PETROL MONEY.
this eve as always he came in and put emmerdale on.when i asked if we could talk he rolled his eyes.After a while he turned it off then shut his eyes.When i said could he please open them he fell asleep.This is not a one off situation and mostly as a manual worker myself i can understand the tiredness in the heat.My question is is this the dregs of a relationship? we went to london for a day this yr but the rest of the time is revolving around soaps or sport.
Also he doesnt think the 15 and 17 yr olds should do chores so he just tutts or rolls his eyes if i ask them to do anything.He will even do it himself than ask them eventhough they are off for the summer.As i said i didnt mind all the other yrs but now i would like a life/FUN

[CharlotteCollins]

I would find the eye-rolling very annoying.

And you are quite right to get the DCs to do chores. Unless you're enslaving them to the detriment of their studies!

It doesn't sound like a very happy relationship. Can you go out and have fun without him? With friends, or with DCs? (I know they're not at an ideal age for being seen with you!)

[whatisforteamum]

hi i definately let them put school work first.People often tell me i do too much for them ie cook clean iron,rabbit hutch,clean towels in the bathroom,ironed uniform baked cakes..but i feel a bit of washing up or spud peeling doesnt hurt !! MY DD Said today she doesnt see why we dont split up as we row alot but i wouldnt like someone to leave me if i had been the one to fall ill and i have no idea how many hrs i would have to work to make ends meet ( then how happy would we all be) Yes maybe will have to look into making friends and getting a life :)

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

You wouldn't be splitting up because he was sick though. You'd be splitting up because you've grown apart, row all the time and don't get any happiness out of each other as a couple. The illness is coincidental.

[whatisforteamum]

I agree Cog apart from a roof over our heads im not sure what is to be gained by staying together,especially my sleeping arrangements.I need to get citizens advice next week and check out my rights before Mum or Dad get ill again and im staying for emotional stability :)