Is it me, him or the situation?

[Fault100]

You might recognize me from some of the information I give but I've had to NC.

I've been with a guy for 5 months. About 2 months after we met I got quite ill and have developed such bad anxiety that I cant leave the house. I was assaulted by someone at this time, its been reported to the police by my therapist..basically I'm under a lot of stress right now.

I feel all this stress is giving me blurred vision when it comes to this guys behavior. He is a very angry person, we only see each other every weekend, sometimes in the week, but when hes not around he seems to start arguments a lot. Each time they get worse. Today I asked him about his plan to come round tomorrow night, he told me he couldn't come and had forgotten to tell me before and asked if I was mad. I told him I was a little annoyed as he is late a lot or is generally flaky and he lost it. I tried to ignore him but he called me a bitch, cunt, said I was abusive because I didn't act as he expected me to if he gave me advice, accused me of cheating, said I was selfish for not caring about other peoples problems but my own...etc.

He tends to keep things to himself and then explode after its all built up. My best friend is male and I get to see him once a month. After he had been to visit my bf saw that I had lipstick on and 'looked good' and it really annoyed him. I wear lipstick and dresses every day...
Anytime someones round he assumes that I've slept with them, always thinks I'm pointing out his flaws and says he feels hes not good enough for me.

I don't think I would take this behavior normally, but then again I'm generally a bit bitter and angry at the world at the moment so Im not sure what to think. I dont even like him at the moment but I dont really have anyone around and I dont want to go weeks at a time only seeing my mum or my best friend a few times a month. I'm starting the freedom programme and therapy but what else do I need?! I really dont know how to feel any stronger right now with everything thats going on.

[MrsKCastle]

It's him.

I suspect you might feel a lot stronger if you weren't having to deal with his shit.

[Bogeyface]

I cant imagine that knowing you will get abuse and accusations whenever you go anywhere will be helping your anxiety.

Get rid of this tosser. Its been 5 months ffs, he should be treating you like a princess not a verbal punch bag. IT WILL GET WORSE.

Lonliness is no reason to stay with someone who treats you like shit.

Think about this as not being you and him but your best friend. What would you tell her? What would you do for her?

[Catnuzzle]

Him. Can you even see him through the red flags?

[pictish]

He calls you a bitch and a cunt after five months??

Sweetheart, you've got wake up now. This man is no good.

[wyrdyBird]

I agree with MrsK.

This man is abusive towards you. Don't wait for him to get better, he will only get worse. Much worse.

Dump him, and focus your energies on building yourself up again.

[pictish]

Let me rectify that - he shouldn't be calling you a bitch and a cunt at all...ever! No matter how long you've been together!
Im just surprised you would even consider staying with someone like this, when he is so new to you!

[Only1scoop]

He should never ever call you or anyone those names. No matter if you have been together 50 years or 2 weeks!!

Stay away from him and his troubled personality.

Concentrate on yourself

[seanbonbon]

If you were with this man 50 years, my advice would be to leave him. No excuse for calling you those names
Get out now while you can & consider it a very lucky escape, you need to look after yourself now. I'm so sorry about what you've been through, you deserve better

[MotherBluestocking]

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time at the moment. But staying in this relationship will at best make your recovery more difficult and at worst positively impede it. Everyone who has posted is absolutely right: this is an abusive relationship which is not helping you to love and value yourself in the way that you need to if you are going to come through this difficult time. And on a practical note, someone who is so possessive and jealous is going to make it very hard for you to build the social network that will stop you being so dependent on his company - so it's a very dangerous vicious circle.
Focus your emotional energies on people who have your interests at heart, which this man so clearly doesn't.

[mike07]

What a horrible man and he certainly isn't helping the stress.
Do yourself a massive favour and get rid, as someone said if he is like this after only 5 months he will only get worse.
Good luck

[ladyblablah]

Does he have any redeeming features?

Flaky, aggressive, verbally abusive, controlling, jealous. Seriously?

The only thing he is right on is that he not good enough for you.

Your anxiety will be massively improved if you ditch this loser. Try and be on your own for a while. Life doesn't need this drama. And after 5 months, my god he is bad bad news.

Are you going to ditch him?

[thestamp]

Jesus Christ woman, you need to get rid, immediately.

[Fmlgirl]

He is vile. Get rid of him. How can he treat another person like that? Does he know what you've been through? Even if he didn't, that's no excuse. He's an abusive excuse of a man.

[crazylady321]

Please get rid and concentrate on yourself, this after 5 months imagine after 5 years??

Hope you start feeling better and stronger soon anxiety is an horrible thing x

[tallwivglasses]

I was concerned about you in your last thread. This time i'm worried. This warped fucker will destroy you if you don't get out soon.

Don't run, sprint.

[mum2bof31986]

You know deep down he is bad for you. Letting his anger build up is just making his abuse be directed mire at you. You need someone to build you up not break you down.