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Relationships

How "involved " should grandparents be?

3 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 28/07/2014 22:02

I'm a single mum and I do have a lovely dad. He is quite involved in dds life and will sit etc which is lovely. BUT I feel a bit trapped by the situation tbh. Dd dotes on her grandfather ( she even called him dada until we put her right.)
I love my dad but I find him somewhat controlling. He used to tell me off when I diciplined my dd etc. My mum died 3 years ago and he hooked up with his new gf about 5 months afterwards. I've known her for years and she's lovely but tbh I feel a bit wierd about it still.
Her dd is one if my best mates but it has always been quite a competitive relationship ( she went out with 2 of my ex bf many years ago and it hurt me.)
Our dds are quite competitive with each other and my dad is a bit loved up and oblivious.
I guess I feel that I rely on my dad too much. If I had a do then dad and I would have a more healthy relationship but we wind each other up somewhat.
Dd is going to a sports club tomorrow. She likes it but didn't want to go at first. Dad immediately suggested that she go round his as he thinks I shouldn't make her do things she dosnt want to. I know what he means but I insisted she go anyway as I think it's good for her to try new sports and meet other kids and now she is up for it!

How do I establish boundaries? How does one foster good grandparent/ child relationships whilst maintaining ones own sanity?!

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superstarheartbreaker · 28/07/2014 22:04

I guess what it means is that I spend a lot of time hanging with his gf and her dd which can be lovely but also weird.

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HumblePieMonster · 28/07/2014 23:08

Erm, don't know. I'm a grandma.
Just say what you want and don't want, keep your dad in the picture about your aims and intentions, and ask him to support you in the way you bring up your dd.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 29/07/2014 11:33

If you're conscious that you rely too much on your Dad then fix the problem by including more people in your life. If you don't like his suggestions or attitude either ignore him or tell him you disagree. He shouldn't be offended. When it comes to your DD, you make the decisions

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