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Relationships

Not sure what to think?

4 replies

knowledgeispower · 27/07/2014 19:18

So...

I have not long parted from a nearly 6 year relationship that was abusive. Even though I've not lived with anybody other than DDs father my ex he used to spend a lot of time at my house etc (cocklodger!) I'm not ready to start dating or anything and have been enjoying my new life with just me and DD.

When I moved house DDs father (ended his own relationship at the start of the year) was incredibly helpful and bent over backwards to do anything I asked. Things have been very amicable between us since we split 7 years ago.

He even stayed behind one day when it was just me home to help out. I feel pretty sure that he was on the verge of asking me out again or something as he was giving off vibes but nothing overt!

He works away a lot and is due 'home' in the next 10 days. I have been dreaming about him and thinking about him since he went away!

I don't think I have ever stopped loving him.

There are a whole bunch of reasons why this would not be a good idea.

Am I just 'lonely'? I thought I'd put these feelings to bed a long time ago!

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 27/07/2014 19:23

The 'whole bunch of reasons' are that he was abusive. Abusive men can be very charming and they like a challenge. So wheedling his way back into your affections will have been big old game to him. If you say 'yes please' because you're lonely chances are it would be like that scene in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang when the children walk into the childcatcher's van lured by bright colours and lollipops and ..... BANG!.... find they are trapped behind bars.


Make new friends. Find other people to help you. Drop your contact with him before you get badly hurt... again.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 27/07/2014 19:26

I read that wrong... apologies... it was the last relationship that was abusive and DD's father is a different guy. However, please think back to why the pair of you split up in the first place and give yourself time to adjust after the abusive relationship. ANYTHING looks good after a crappy relationship.

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knowledgeispower · 27/07/2014 19:27

Sorry Cog, it's DDs father not ex DP.

My post could have been clearer! Apologies for any confusion.

I've only had two LTRs. The first was DDs father. The second LTR was the cocklodger (whom I've posted about previously)

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knowledgeispower · 27/07/2014 19:30

Crossed post Cog!! Thank you for your advice, you are bang on as always.

I think I'm just a mess at the moment. In all honesty I surprised myself by not sleeping with him as I've been starved of affection. That part was always great with DDs father (ahem)

I am slowly learning!

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