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Relationships

Do I just need to grow a pair?!

11 replies

Hesaysshewaffles · 27/07/2014 10:10

Split from stbxh 1.5 years ago. I still live in our home, but I pay the mortgage and bills etc. He obvs pays maintenance. We split because of his year long affair.

Well I've been online dating for the past few months and I seem to have met someone I've clicked with and I'd quite like to invite them round. Thing is I don't want to hurt my ex's feelings - even tho the house is sold and I'm moving.

My ex has made it known that he wants try again.

Am I Caring too much about my ex's feelings are is the idea of bringing someone in to what was my marital home unreasonable?

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HumblePieMonster · 27/07/2014 10:15

You've split up properly and the house is sold. Its nothing to do with your ex if you have someone around.

But, if you feel uncomfortable, don't do it. Meet elsewhere.

You say 'marital' home. If you were married, how far are you into divorce proceedings? Why does your ex think you can 'try again'?

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Hesaysshewaffles · 27/07/2014 10:17

Well we are sorting finances. He thinks we could try again because he's finally realised what he did was wrong and realises he wants me. It's put so much pressure on me.

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hamptoncourt · 27/07/2014 10:20

Do you mean you are living separately in the former marital home?

If STBX lives elsewhere how on earth will he know you have had a bloke round? Surely it isn't the sort of thing you would discuss with him!!!???

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Hesaysshewaffles · 27/07/2014 10:27

We live separately in different towns. I just feel like in betraying him. I was seeing someone last year and they came to my house a few times but at that point my ex didn't want me back. Now he does I feel weird about it.

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magoria · 27/07/2014 10:28

Funny questions.

Has you ex only realised since you met someone else. Or since the house sale is finally going through and that last little hold on you is going?

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Hesaysshewaffles · 27/07/2014 10:34

My ex thinks I've been celebate waiting for him I think.

It was since he got his own place a few months ago to 'think' and that the house has sold and divorce has or further along.

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Lovingfreedom · 27/07/2014 10:51

So he had an affair when you were together but you feel like you're betraying him for seeing someone when you're separated? Hmm

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inlectorecumbit · 27/07/2014 13:16

He only wants you back because you have found someone else--he thought you would wait around waiting for him.
You don't know him anything-he is the one who betrayed your relationship. that relationship is over.
Move on without quilt and enjoy your new relationship without guilt

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inlectorecumbit · 27/07/2014 13:34

quilt = guilt Smile

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Lovingfreedom · 27/07/2014 13:37

Guys like this are ridiculous...they get so upset when someone dares to say no to them. You're well rid...move on without quilt! I like that!!

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Anniegetyourgun · 27/07/2014 15:07

Needs linking again, doesn't it?



Just because the guy has decided he wants you back doesn't mean you have to have him back. He blew it. Tough.
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