I can't quite work out if this is a new thing or something that's always been there that I've just realised but he's becoming so bossy and controlling I'm wondering if this is just the start?
We've been together two years. Just got engaged.
Examples of his behaviour are having a go at me a few days ago because I decided to enjoy a couple of beers in the lovely sunshine in the garden. This was on Thursday evening - baring in mind this was also my first evening of relaxation that week as I'd been working nights so I'd been looking forward to relaxing in the garden and not having to worry about getting ready for work. So he gave me a lecture on how I shouldn't be drinking on a thursday night - forgetting perhaps that the previous week he'd enjoyed a couple of beers in the garden whilst I was at work - on a wednesday night.
Another example was that I bought one of those big bags of walkers sensation crisps. I opened them that night and told him to help himself. He didn't want any so I started eating them. Well half way through the packet he said "right I'm putting these away now." I said "I might want a few more in a bit, I've not eaten much today." and so he gave me a lecture on how I can't just eat a big bag of crisps to myself and that I was being "silly" etc. I told him I'll eat whatever I want. He went in a huff. I'm not fat or unhealthy, I have a healthy BMI, I'm active, I work - why the hell should I be told what I can and can't eat and drink???
Latest example - last night after cutting the grass with the lawnmower I said to him "we need a grass strimmer, here's one I've seen - shall I buy it tomorrow?" - Well he rolled his eyes, laughed at me and said "for fucks sake." ??? I said "what??" and he said "I'LL buy the grass strimmer, you just concentrate on replacing your hairdryer." Patronising twat! I said I'm not that concerned about buying a new hairdryer at the moment (mine broke but I don't tend to use it anyway) and he replied "yes you are."
Telling me I am bothered about something when I say I'm not??!
So anyway I said "why can't I just buy this grass strimmer? it's only £20" (he spends more than that on pointless LED lights etc) and he went off on one saying I was being stupid and no I couldn't buy it and no I don't get a say in it and my priorities should be with the hairdryer, not a garden strimmer.
Like I say it's getting worse all the time - he's telling me I need to cut my toe nails and I can't give my son bus fares to go out with etc etc. He keeps taking money from my purse and my pockets too saying its so he doesn't have to faff going to cash machine but then I'm left with no money (I have my bank card so not being left with no spending power) but I like to have a bit of money on me - what if I can't find a cash machine?
Am I over-reacting and should I just tell him off when he does it or is this a real issue?
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Relationships
DP becoming very bossy and controlling. Red Flags??
Curlycurlysue · 26/07/2014 11:17
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