Im so tired of this now!

[Muuuumimbored]

Been with dp nearly 5yrs. And i regret most of it. Im mentally exhausted from his verbal emotional and sometimes physical violence. I cant take anymore. I broke down earlier and just sobbed into the sofa cushions im came so close to ending my life i was ready for writing the letter. The only thing stoppoing me was the thought of dc's.

I hate dp i hate everything about him!!

Everyday i get called thick stupid or dumb. He gets on at my looks my weight. He says he could do with someone younger and fitter than me.

Everytime i walk past him when hes sat on the sofa he kicks me or punches me jokingly!!

He tells me im know good and i dont deserve anything and that dcs will grow up hating me.

I cant take anymore, hes always leaving me amd then coming back a week or so later and even if its not my fault i apologise. He says i said things when i know i havnt but he screams and shouts that much i just say hes right.

He always threatens me with violence and sometimes hits me or pushes me or rags me about.

He tells me im mental and i on the verge of a breakdown, i go to the doctors cos he tells me to then he makes me bin the tablets because he doesnt want to be with someone on happy pills.

I cant take anymore he belittles me at every turn, nothing i do is good enough. I have cried so much tonight ive got a headache.

[LadySybilLikesCake]

0808 2000 247 here's the number for women's aid, my pet. He's abusing you, and you don't have to put up with this. PLEASE call them and get your life back. They will listen, they will care and they will help you. All you have to do is call them.

//www.womensaid.org.uk

[Chocaholicmonster]

I haven't ever been in this situation but I'm here to hold your hand for as long as you need. My heart goes out to you. Especially with children involved.

You deserve so much more than this. You are worth something. Your children will forever love you.

You know what everyone is going to say - you need to get out. Now. There's help & support of the professional manner out there for you & of course, plenty of lovely people on here that will guide you & hand hold all the way.

[mamafridi]

Please leave him. You know that's the right thing and as soon as you do your life will get better. Do you have family or friends that could let you and your kids stay?

[LEMmingaround]

Call women's aid please. Your post is chilling. You can stop this

[Muuuumimbored]

Thank you. Hes already left (again) .The house is mine. He wants a weekly payment for the furniture. I hate him. Hes took me from me (if that makes sence)

[Muuuumimbored]

Thats just half of it unfortunatly. I have no one.

[Chocaholicmonster]

Please stay strong. Do you jointly own the house?

I'd get legal advice, when you feel ready, for payment agreements & other financial advice.

[HumblePieMonster]

It makes perfect sense. There is nothing more dehumanising than sharing your life with a man who does not love you and treats you like dirt.

Good that its your house. Good that he's left. Cry if you want, its the start of healing.

Get some bolts put on the doors and change the locks. Make sure he doesn't come back this time.

You still need Women's Aid and you need the police. If he's shouting and screaming and intimidating you, you need support.

[Muuuumimbored]

We always kept finances seperate there wasnt any point in joining them as he would always remind me he had more and would often leave me with nothing. So ive just got better at budgeting the bit of money ive got coming in.

[LadySybilLikesCake]

If it's your house you can change the locks. Are you saying he's stolen from you?

[Muuuumimbored]

No not stolen but i would do a big food shop pay the bills etc spend all my money thinking i could rely on him and he would cause a argument knowing this and leave me.

He doesnt have a key.

[Chocaholicmonster]

If this is your house than please do not allow this brute back inside. I cannot stress that enough. If he needs items from the house than he's to arrange for collection accompanied with someone else (a mutual friend or family member). Change the locks asap but until then keep the door & any other access points locked.

You are the protector of your children too x

[LadySybilLikesCake]

Your bills can wait, just give them a call and they will understand. Do you have enough food to keep you going until you get some money?

[Muuuumimbored]

I dropped his stuff off earlier he came and took his car back (my birthday present) when he dropped ds off. Thats the only tie i have to him.

I cant beleive im in this position, my dc dont deserve this. All i wanted was to be loved and protected and cared for. Instead i got walking on egg shells beatings and abuse.

[Cabrinha]

You poor thing, you need a hug.
It's a GOOD thing he's gone.
You don't need that scum in your life treating you like shit.
Back to the GP. You may find that you don't actually need ADs if that arsehole isn't making your life unbearable.
But if you need them, you need them.
And speak to Women's Aid, please.
You really deserve some help.
If you're really low right now - Samaritans, just for a chat. x

[LadySybilLikesCake]

You're not in this position now, he's gone. You can rebuild things, just give yourself time. Get in touch with Women's Aid though, they are better to help you than a parenting web site.

[Muuuumimbored]

Yes money wise im ok. I started saving bits i have know for a long time that i wanted him gone the last time he left i told myself i didnt want him back, but he just came back and let him. For the last couple of werk since hes been back ive just looked at him and thought i hate you! Ive been tense stressed and nervous, panicking if im not back for when he is.

[Chocaholicmonster]

Despite him leaving & taking his crap - I do suggest you still speak to Woman's Aid or your GP. Abuse over years like you've suffered will need support to get over. You will be able to find yourself again. You'll learn to love life again. You're free now. Remember that, you're free. You're now your own person again x

[TurboWithAKick]

He's gone now

Will you stay strong?

What support do you have?

[Sofiathefirst]

muuum you have had the lightbulb experience - when you've put up with shit for years and then one day you actually realise you hate him. This is the first time you are not thinking of the good times which only serves to dupe you till the next time.

You will be feeling bad, but in the not too distant future you will be congratulating yourself that you have escaped from this abusive nightmare.

Good luck x

[Muuuumimbored]

I wont let anothet man into my kids lives again no chance.
I have to be strong but its just easier to give in with him. I have no support im no contact with my family. And i just hide it from anyone else. Too ashamed for them to know the truth.

[Chocaholicmonster]

You do have support. You have us. Please don't think you don't ever have any support.

You've made the first, hardest step. Stay strong x

[Muuuumimbored]

Thanks.

How could i let things get this bad?! I have no friends only people i have a quick hello how r u? With.

I wasnt allowed to come on here, he would check my txts emails and call logs he would ring me all the time to see where i was but yet his life was his business not mine.

[Chocaholicmonster]

You haven't personally let things get this way. You were stuck in a situation where there seemed no escape. But you're free from that now. You need to focus on YOUR future & start putting plans into action. I'd still suggest making a GP appointment or phoning Woman's Aid just to speak to someone more professional regarding everything you've been through x

[Allinson2014]

I've been in your situation. At the time there didn't feel like there was a way out and leaving with the DCs felt like the most difficult thing to do. After ten years though I snapped and called the police (after he had hit me again, but while he wasn't there and myself and the DCs were safe). The police arrested him. I can't lie it was a difficult few weeks, however it was 100 times better than what I and now you are living through.

Please find a way to leave with your DCs, you can't see it now but your life will be so much better. I wish you well.