Dating ideas needed/new ways of meeting people other than internet dating

[ShropshireLady]

Hi everyone! Just wondering if anyone had any thoughts on this, or any ideas of how to meet potential new partners. Internet dating isn't an option for me, I've looked at joining walking groups in shropshire but as I understand there's a few weirdos or geeks there, Speed dating events tend to be based in Birmingham or the major cities, I have limited time for socialising needlessly just in the hope Mr right is in some pub or other. i go to a gym but people just tend to go, do their workout and not talk. It's so hard to meet men who are single and without issues! If anyone could come up with any ideas, or who has had similar experiences it would be good to know. TIA

[lavenderhoney]

Why isn't it an option for you?

Otherwise, join clubs, go to everything, hold dinner parties and make everyone bring a friend of the opposite sex etc etc

[juliascurr]

depends if you have firmish beliefs in politics/religion, but if you do, then church, campaign groups, etc
or any kind of hobby where you get to talk to people - foreign language conversation might be good, or dancing classes

[ShropshireLady]

Maybe dancing classes might be an option but isn't that full of couples anyway? That could be a bit awkward. The dinner party idea is okay in theory but most of my friends who have single male friends i'm aware of anyway, so I can't invite strangers into my home. Thanks for the ideas so far though, anyone else?

[niceupthedance]

Do you have any interests where a lot of men usually take part? I'm thinking cycling, classic car shows, golf? Unfortunately I do think you do have to put a lot of effort into meeting people, if not internet dating then just getting out and about. Depends how much of a priority finding a partner is, I suppose.

[ShropshireLady]

I can put in the effort, childcare costs permitting yes! But you're right, it's got to be something i'm interested in too.. I'll have to think of some new ventures which i'd enjoy but if I didn't meet anyone i'd still get pleasure from it. Priority isn't huge, and i'm certainly not desperate, but it amazes me how people ever met each other before internet dating came along!!

[MadeMan]

"...it's got to be something i'm interested in too."

This is pretty important in my opinion. I'm all for trying new things, but generally you have to like whatever it is that you'll be doing. For example, there might be loads of single available women at my local yoga or salsa classes, but I won't be going to them just on the offchance of meeting someone; I have no interest at all in yoga or salsa.

[ShropshireLady]

Maybe I should try some Extreme Sports! that seems to be what most men are interested in nowadays. Or try the local Bungee Jumping club or Metal Detecting society events. Must be plenty of single men there!! lol

[hamptoncourt]

Have you looked to see if there are any meet up groups where you live? //www.meetup.com
My friend tried it when he moved to a new city for work and he made lots of new friends.
Volunteering and campaigning are good ideas too.

[TillyWithercoat]

West Midands 40plus Rambers
Spice West Midlands

[ChelsyHandy]

Mountain biking is full of decent, fit, interesting single men. Doesn't have to be competitive, there are all sorts of ways of mountain biking in groups and on holiday. I wouldn't necessarily say the same about road cycling, but fab sport if you want to do it as an individual!

[Pinkfrocks]

Try to make friends of both genders- women have brothers
Lots of people meet men/ women through having a wider social circle so don't just go 'looking for men' go looking for things you enjoy and see what pans out.

[brassbandstand]

Subbing with interest.

I have tried and am trying, really, the internet, but I'm just having no luck at all! It's depressing really!

[louby44]

I've just joined my local meetup group and went bowling with them last week. It's a real mix of people and I have another few events planned with them over the next couple of weeks.

I've done this to extend my freindship group though, not neccesarily to meet a man.

I'm doing internet dating too, taking it all with a pinch of salt, not really seriously.

[Pinkfrocks]

Anything where there are lots of people of both genders- running clubs, cycling clubs, tennis clubs, political associations (if that floats your boat), charities, conservation groups, choirs......

[HelllsBellls]

OP I'm similar. I'm just about to join Spice and book in for a walking weekend in August. I'm a bit nervous that no one will talk to me all weekend but have decided its time to get out there and make the effort.

It's the Birmingham group, you could come to!

[WildBillfemale]

Internet dating isn't an option........why?
Walking clubs are full of weirdos and geeks......really? all of them?
Speed dating is only in Birmingham.........

Don't take this the wrong way but maybe a tweak of your mindset is needed, you've dismissed some avenues without trying them.

Anyway there isn't an ideal way to meet someone imo, you just have to be open to meeting someone at anytime. Supermarket, train, bus stop, dentists waiting room for example. You cross paths with men all day. Perfect the art of friendly small talk, you won't come across as desperate, just friendly and open.

[ShropshireLady]

Thanks all for the positive comments! the moutain biking idea sounds appealing, i've had a look at some of the meetup groups in shropshire and only about 3 people seem to be attending the events, I guess living in a rural area can make things a bit tricky. I've got a pretty wide circle of friends already but it's always good to meet more. I've not heard of Spice but will look into it thanks!

[brassbandstand]

I live in Shropshire and I know what you mean :)

I am a horse rider/owner but I can see if you're not into something like that it's difficult.

Here are some things I do, although I haven't met a man haha - I:

Am a Samaritan :) I man the phones once a week and listen and hopefully comfort people who are upset or distressed. It sounds miserable but we are very supportive of one another and there are some seriously lovely people doing it.

Am a member of a reading group and you're right, it isn't well attended but the plus of this is you DO get to know people well.

The usual gym and exercising classes.

And of course, the horse!

[Pinkfrocks]

why is internet dating 'not an option'?

You have the internet

[brassbandstand]

I'm not the OP but I have to admit that after 5 years of dabbling in OD I just don't want to do it anymore!

[LittleLadyFooFoo]

I go to the local climbing wall with my kids. Lots of fit nice guys of all ages. I chat to some as we talk about our kids or how we got into climbing.
I agree. Don't dismiss online yet. I was wary but I've met a couple of nice guys.

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

I agree that you are dismissing whole areas of potential hotspots without trying them. :) Remember, you're not trying to meet THOUSANDS of single nice men - just one!

Try anything once. I joined MeetUp and it was mainly women, but fun. I went to singles parties and they were fun. I went on a Dining With Friends night and it was fun but nobody I liked. I've done speed-dating a few times. It's a really good laugh! I met one bloke there but he went a bit weird.

I met my lovely fiancé on match.com. Have you tried My Single Friend? My brother's on there and meeting a lot of really nice people.

[brassbandstand]

Ahem!

We don't KNOW shropshirelady hasn't tried OD!

[Pinkfrocks]

True- but to say something 'isn't an option' implies either she has and hated it, or she has a view of it that may not be accurate.

[brassbandstand]

Possibly but I do know personally I have felt 'Od'd' out - clumsy phrase but felt SO sick of being ignored or messaged by 59 year olds or men miles and miles away or 22 year olds wanting sex, that I needed a break largely for my own sanity.

You can get to the point where you feel unattractive, undesirable and just generally rubbish. If you do feel like that and want to know about other possible options people saying 'why not the internet, what's wrong with it, I met a GREAT man and ...' You know?

Best just to respect the OPs stance, I think. :)