Is something wrong with me?

[muchtooshy]

I have been dating a man I met on line for 6 months now. We see each other 1 to 3 nights a week as we both work shifts and he has his son quite often.

I haven't dated a lot but haven't had any relationship stuff to make me not trust (have never been cheated on) but my mum and dad have always had an up and down relationship and my dad is not reliable and he was in contact with his ex at one point and my mum found out.

My BF doesn't talk about feelings much or relationships and I know about his ex wife and have met her and their son but I don't know about his relationships after that. He said early on that he believes that the past belongs in the past. Is it normal not to talk about past relationships? He knows I haven't dated much.

I don't want to ruin this relationship because I am insecure but I don't know how to know if it is a good relationship or not. I am just scared to trust totally and he hasn't really given me a reason to doubt him. He says that he trusts me totally.

He wants me to move in at some point and talked about going on holiday at Christmas time. I have met his family and son and have spent time with them. He does include me in his family life.

I find it kinda hard to believe that he wants to be with me and that he isn't just settling for someone average and easy. The relationship got comfortable quickly and we just do normal stuff together. Neither of us has much spare cash but he will get little things for me and he cooks for me. He tends to be more actions than words. So he hasn't said that I am important to him but he introduced me to his parents and brother and to his son.

Sorry if you are trying to read this as I am just waffling on but I am really starting to think there is something in me that isn't suited to relationships. It can't be normal to overthink like this.

[Quitelikely]

He is demonstrative with actions rather than words. That is a good starting point but I suppose sometimes we need to hear things straight from the horses mouth!

If you need reassurance then you should ask him for it. He might not be psychic!

Good luck with it

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

If you regard yourself so poorly that you are grateful for any kind of affection, it can be exploited. Worse, you can end up being despised or abused. Now I'm sure he's a thoroughly nice bloke and is doing none of that but you should listen to your misgivings rather than write it off purely as insecurity or some idea that you're not suited to relationships. 'Got comfortable quickly' can mean a lot of things, for example. Can mean someone camps out in your house and never takes you anywhere. Also, as you're spending so much time together, what about your other friends? Do you still socialise without him? Do you still have a life of your own?

Have a little more faith in yourself and trust your judgement.

[muchtooshy]

Quitelikey He has said that he doesn't always know what I am thinking.

Cognito He doesn't know that I have these insecurities and would probably be surprised. By getting comfortable quickly I mean there was never that pretence or keeping up a front that there sometimes is. I was happy to be around him without make up on and just the natural me rather than being done up. I didn't feel like I had to pretend to be someone more exciting / interesting / wild to impress him.

We don't spend all our time together just a couple of nights a week and full weekends if neither of us is working and I see my friends at least once a week and usually more and he sees his friends too.

[rb32]

Bit late to this but it sounds like quite a nice relationship. The man includes you in his familly things and is planning for the future. Relax, don't build it up to much and see what happens.

TLDR: yes you're overthinking things!