Bizarre behaviour whatever next !!

[whatisforteamum]

i joined here last week as i was struggling with my husbands indifference and aggressive behavoiur since his major heart attack last winter.I had opened up to my Mum when she suggested we divorce as i sleep on the floor( his snoring) and have done so for 11 yrs now.keeping the family together whatever it took and working long hours on shift work both of us.One thing we are proud of is our kids are doing really well at school our son getting 2 A grades in mocks and our daughter doing AS levels. our DD has been doing NCS training where they do team building,raft building etc then charity work for 2 weeks.This week she has been baking to raise money for the homeless on 2 days then a sleeping rough on cardboard last night to be sponsored.this was done within an army base as they are young and although she wanted to do it for real other parents wanted them to stay safe.Anyway when DD told my parents they didnt offer to sponsor her.this is odd as they are the only Gparents she has.i mentioned it on FB and as no one offered even £1 MUM said why cant my workmates be bothered to sponsor her...most of them are on min wage!! Mum and Dad are not wealthy but have anything they want.i know they donate to cancer research as they both have incurable cancer.Also they have 13 g kids.They have removed me from FB our way of sharing pics and news all very odd when it was mums suggestion we should think about splitting up.she knows what a hard time ive had with my new job and bulllying boss .Basically she only likes my 2 bro s and sis who earn good money and not us as we have no debt but have to work hard to make ends meet and hasnt been to our house in 8yrs though we live in the same town and i pop round theirs..very odd !! i live in a clean tidy house by the way

[FreeSpirit89]

No advice, but didn't want to read and run.

She sounds hard work, someone will be along soon with some advise :)

[warysara]

No offence, but punctuation, capital letters and paragraphs would perhaps get you a better response.

[whatisforteamum]

Thank you ..I must admit i do omit the details since i have work,two parents with cancer and a husband who had a major heart attack and i have yet to work out the way to do paragraphs on the laptop.No excuse though as i got grade 1 in english

[AnyFucker]

Are you asking us about your mum or your husband ? Because they both sound like pieces of shit.

[whatisforteamum]

Thanks for your reply freespirit,you nailed it.The woman who backed out of helping at our engagement party 26 yrs ago.The same person who wouldnt commit to having our DD so i could have a home birth with our DS,never child minded HARDWORK and i give up x

[morchoxplz]

Paragraphs on a laptop/smartphone:

Press return key (it's an arrow bottom right corner).... then press it again

Just like that!

;-)

[whatisforteamum]

Amazing
Thanks very much :)

[HumblePieMonster]

I recall your lack of bed. I've been worrying about you.
Stop fretting about what your parents won't give. Its not worth the hassle.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

I posted on your last thread. You mentioned there your teens are your priority, you have done your utmost to keep a stable environment for them especially during exams.

Of course no-one would wish your parents ill, cancer is a dreadful disease and they have a lot to contend with. But when parents openly favour other children it is very hard to tolerate this and it stings more when favouritism of any kind spreads to the next generation.

I would say that if there's ever an atmosphere between husband and wife it can be uncomfortable for outsiders visiting and if you asked for advice in the past but then didn't take it, yes there might be some awkwardness. But you'd expect your own parents to stick by you. Support should be two-way amongst family members.

Looking at your later post your mum has distanced herself neatly for some while so don't chase her, rise above it, keep encouraging your DCs, good luck to DD raising sponsorship.

[Hissy]

Can we just FTFO with the snipey shit about paragraphs?

How is that relevant? How is that helping?

If it offends your eyes, click hide, it's a little button at the top of the thread.

Basically at the opposite end of the thread to Add your message

[Hissy]

whatis I recall a thread about sleeping on the floor, was that a while ago? Or am I confusing a more recent thread?

My love, the dc are a credit to you, what you've achieved is amazing, given the situation you are in.

The situation with your mother is nothing new, not for you, and not for many of us.

I recall being told that my DM had always let me down, gone out of her way to hurt/neglect me or negate my feelings.

I was then told that it was (kinda) my own stupid fault for thinking that of all the chances i'd given her, all the times where she'd done sweet FA to help, this one time would be the time she'd break with decades of traditional and be there for me, or be the mother i'd like her to be.

Harsh to hear, and it hurt to hear it said to me, but it was true.

Your dm will never be the dm you deserve her to be, so the best thing for you is to give up expecting her to be.

Have you got any RL support? Would you consider counselling?

[tipsytrifle]

You've been sleeping on the floor for 11 years? This has been condoned by your indifferent and aggressive H? Your mother sounds awful too.

You deserve a better, gentler lifestyle than this whatis

[whatisforteamum]

Hi everyone,apologies i do ramble on dont i.Yes ihad therapy in my 20,s as i had panic attacks and was told that i was ill but other family members were the problem!!I even bought a house at 21 to escape home.Strangley my parents have adopted and fostered many kids so their blatant refusal to help is odd.My sis is left out too but she did have a child at 18 and lived on benefits while having more.I on the other hand have always worked sometimes 94 hrs a week between us.
Mum called social services on me when my weight fell below 7 stone and my 2 DCS were small.Her excuse was she was worried as i was thin the kids were not cared for.The health visitor came and apologized as our house was v clean,kids were well fed 3 meals a day plus fruit and yogs as snacks.As she left she said she felt sorry for me with a mother like that.

Work has been my saviour and i have thrown myself whole heartedly into what is good (kids,animals,baking on my days off).I feel sad that while ive watched them go through the horrors of chemo and ops and tried to help whatever i do is not good enough.It hurts more that my DCs have never had grandparents as such while my bro and sis kids are always going here and there with them.I recently went to councelling were i was told i dont have much depression but alot on my plate