Has anyone else gone NC with family due to sibling favouritism?

[RedHairpiece]

I have now been NC with my parents and sister for just over a year.

I am in my thirties now but since childhood my parents have favoured my sister, who is 3 years' younger than me. My sister has lapped this up and played up to the fact.

As a child I was told off a lot, smacked, called names, and many other abusive things. My sister was treated like a princess. My sister would do things like shout really loudly to get me into trouble, and would make up things that I'd done. She would also join in with my parents behaviour towards me, calling me weird and ugly.

Things were ok-ish for a few years when I moved out of home, but since my sister and I had children, the favouritism started again, and about a year ago I finally snapped and went non contact with the lot of them. My sister's children have always been treated far more favourably than my children, and my children were starting to notice. The crunch came when last summer I was unwell and was in hospital for a few days. My parents refused to help with the children in any way, and didn't give me any support or sympathy. The following week my sister hurt her finger and they ran around after her like she was royalty, looking after her DCs and doing her housework. My mum's words to me when I challenged her were "Well there was nothing bad wrong with you, you're still here to tell the tale". So I decided enough was enough.

My eldest child is 16, and my parents, despite never showing any interest in her, are now wanting to see her all the time, and keep asking her to go and stay the night at theirs, which she does, as obviously I cannot stop her. What bugs me is when I worked evenings years ago they refused to even have DD for the occasional evening if DH had to work late as they said they wanted it to be just the two of them in the evenings, yet now they will have DD overnight just to get at me!

[RedHairpiece]

Shameless bump

[Aussiebean]

I'm sorry this has happened. I have little contact with my mum but sibling relationship is ok.

Some one will be along soon. Have you looked at the stately homes thread?

[Aussiebean]

Just to I understand going no contact as she treated us all different

[Wonc]

Can you explain any of this to your DD?

[RedHairpiece]

I've tried to explain to DD but my parents are suddenly spoiling her materially, and as she's at that materialistic teenage phase she is taken in by it :(

[Lottapianos]

Hi OP, I'm very low contact with both parents and my brother is part of the reason. He has always been the golden child and was treated very differently to my sister and I - he has never really been challenged on his (often agressive and threatening) behaviour, they have always made excuses for him, he was allowed to swear and lash out at us with only a very mild telling off. As an adult, he has alcohol and drug problems, is massively depressed and unable to move forward with his life, and needs not much provocation to become verbally abusive. So their parenting has done him absolutely no favours either.

I do believe that you have a right to expect to get something positive out of every relationship, including blood relationships. If you feel that a relationship is draining you, making you angry and resentful, and causing you heartache, you are better off out of it. I know that this is not easy and its extremely painful. It sounds like your parents move the goalposts and want everything on their terms and I appreciate how frustrating that is.

Do you feel better for going NC with them? Do you feel more peaceful and calmer, like a weight has been lifted?

[Rebecca2014]

They are now trying to manipulate you by going after your daughter and spoiling her.