Sex toy - this down side never occurred to me - help!

[GelfBride]

Namechanged for this.
Married for 9 years, all good but I went away for two weeks on business so bought DH a 'little something' to keep him happy in my absence. This was in 2012.
It does exactly what it says on the tin and no mistake and I have continued to use it on him probably more regularly than is advisable (as well as without just for information) as we now think his parts have got so used to my purchase that 'normal' sex isn't really doing it for him so much!
It never occurred to me this could happen but I can see he may be right.
Has anyone else had this problem and how do we get back to normal please?

So as not to drip feed. The gadget is a vibrating cock ring with an adjustable amount of vibe. I am kicking myself!

[MiniTheMinx]

Throw it in the bin, he will eventually get over it

[GetYourFingersOutOfThere]

It's like a dummy for a toddler.

Go cold turkey and he will get used to it not being there.

[JaceyBee]

It's like when men use a 'death grip' when wanking and get reliant on it to cum coz a pussy isn't tight enough to give the and senation anymore. They just have to retrain their dick. It's doable but takes effort.

Google dan savage's savage love column on this. I would link but tbh I'm pissed and can't be arsed.

[Dirtybadger]

Stop using it. Normal service will resume eventually.

[GelfBride]

Thanks for the replies. It is definitely going on a high shelf!
Jacey thanks. Dan Savages website is an interesting one!
I suspect we will have to go a bit tantric for a while and get away from the default being 'Buzz Lightyear'!!
How do men that use the 'Death grip' manage to have PIV sex and enjoy it again?

[heyday]

I thought this toy was meant to bring intense pleasure to both of you so not sure why you would want to stop using it. Has it become too much if a habit?
I guess you don't have to use it every time, perhaps make it disappear from its normal home from time to time. Perhaps introduce a new toy to replace it to bring a slightly new focus to your sex life.
Other than that, really it's down to good old fashioned communication to find a solution that is acceptable to both of you.

[WildBillfemale]

It's like when men use a 'death grip' when wanking and get reliant on it to cum coz a pussy isn't tight enough to give the and senation anymore. They just have to retrain their dick. It's doable but takes effort.

Google dan savage's savage love column on this. I would link but tbh I'm pissed and can't be arsed.

lol JaceyBee excellent advice - straightforward and to the point!

[JaceyBee]

www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=14968

Here it is!

Haha, I did chuckle to myself when I saw what I posted last night! I stand by it though, solid advice that!

[EveMarieSaint]

Is there a female 'death grip' equivalent?

[MadeMan]

A lot of women say they can't climax most of the time with a man and so they masturbate/use a vibrator on their own in private. Isn't this the same sort of thing though if he's death gripping himself off at the end?

[GelfBride]

SOLID advice - Harff!

[GelfBride]

(Adopts serious face) Thanks for making the effort to post the link Jaceybee I will show him. It really is a thing then? High shelf has a new occupant. We will try and change our ways for a while and see what happens.

[RiffyWammal]

I don't get this. Why do you want to stop using it if you both presumably enjoy it?

I hardly ever used to orgasm during sex but since we discovered Lovehoney I now always do. I would be extremely unhappy if DH decided to banish my toys to a shelf because 'normal' sex doesn't do it for me any more!

[GelfBride]

Riffy we never use it together. We tried it once and it was really uncomfortable. Sorry if TMI but I have got used to putting it on him as an alternative to sex if I am knackered but he is horny. He occasionally uses it when I'm at work too or so he tells me! I didn't just hide it, we agreed to give it a rest for a while as he feels that he is becoming de-sensitised by it. Looking at the evidence, I think I agree with him which is why I posted. We have become lazy basically and he is starting to feel that he may not be able to manage without it which is a bit scary as things were fine before. We are going to go Buzz Lightyear cold turkey and that is a sentence I never thought I would write

[RiffyWammal]

Ah I see, I wouldn't like that either! Sorry I assumed rings were always used together and were as much as - if not more - for the woman's pleasure anyway.

If cold turkey Buzz () doesn't work out, could you maybe try to find another ring that you find comfortable and could use together?

[EveMarieSaint]

I had no idea clock rings could be used for male satisfaction alone.

[StickyMessi]

Well you learn something new every day. I always understood that the vibrating ring was to stimulate the clitoris not the penis! If it does work on the penis you think they would sell millions.

[RiffyWammal]

Sorry OP but I have to ask, what kind of cock ring is it? They are normally quite unobtrusive and comfortable. I am beginning to imagine yours as an industrial strength death-grip machine with the thickness of a bike tyre!

[BrunoBrookesDinedAlone]

Yes - time for the Cock Ring Fairy to pay a visit and leave a six pack under his pillow if he is a brave boy and gives up his comfort item

[GelfBride]

Mmmm..maybe it's not a cock ring then? It's been a while since I bought it. I will attempt to link to this thingy. I bought it in Ann Summers. A friend made a joke about buying him something for while I was away and told me what to get. I went in, asked for it and was persuaded to 'upgrade' to this. Perhaps I have used the term 'cock ring' when it is not in fact what it is. I'll have a look at their website and link to it if I can.

[GelfBride]

www.annsummers.com/p/vibro-ring-vibrating-cock-ring/07merias1085014

[GelfBride]

So have I discovered something then? Slap this on and this bad boy really gets a result in no time. When I say maybe we have got lazy it's because I feel that too often he is horny and I am knackered and I say' Can I buzz you?' and it's sort of become a habit.
Riffy it may look like a vulcanised tyre off a Land Rover or something left over from breaking a hovercraft but actually it's a soft jelly like sort of rubber. I don't have shares in AS honest!

[StickyMessi]

Going to have to pop down to AS and get one to try.

[GelfBride]

Sticky My friend told me to get him a 'dirty dolphin' (she called it a smutty cetacean actually but she's a posh bird!) but the lady in the shop advised I buy this as it's power is adjustable whereas the DD is just on or off. This was the first sex toy I had ever bought so thought it was for him only and I have never read the stuff on the website about it being for couples so just snapped it on him and switched it on. He loved it. I came back from two weeks business trip and he is in love with it and has given it a girls name and everything Kiera Nightly

[RiffyWammal]

Ah yes, that does look a bit clumpy and uncomfortable. I have one more like this.

By the way, the customer service at Lovehoney is miles better than AS. LH give you a refund if you use something and don't like it, which is good because we're all different and don't all like the same thing!