Really hurt by colleagues comment about my weight

[Inapickle123]

Just that, really.

Had DS 5 months ago and lost a lot of weight very quickly due to severe PND (was back in my size 8/10s in two weeks because I couldn't eat.

DS, while wonderful, is a difficult baby; reflux, no sleep, possible CMPI (bottle refusal) and a screamer. Consequently, I've spent the last 5 months existing on catnaps and rubbish food to get me through. I know it's not the healthiest but I am shattered. By the time DH comes home from work, I can't rouse myself to go for a run and I'm so exhausted from no sleep the night before that I can't do much more than go for leisurely walks with DS. Mainly to try and get him to actually sleep.

Anyway, I went in to see work when DS was 10 weeks old and colleague-we'll call him twat-completely avoided me. Wouldn't acknowledge my existences, refused to speak to me blah blah blah.

We used to be super close and he admitted (when drunk) that he had feelings for me. Nothing ever came of this and I tried very hard to
Remain friendly with him.

Anyway, fast forward to today and I had to go back to work for a KIT day. I've put on a bit of weight-nothing major but I'm tiny so it's fairly noticeable (probably about a stone over my pre-pregnancy weight but I'm scared to actually weigh myself). Bearing in mind twat face hasn't spoken to me in almost a year, he positively revelled in this, with the first words out his mouth being "shit, you've got really fat". When other folks recoiled in shock, he backtracked with a stupid twat laugh and said he was only kidding.

I know I shouldn't care but the damage -and self esteem bashing-has already been done. I know I don't look like I used to but who does when they can't spend 4-6 hours a week in the gym, or actually have the mental capacity to cook a healthy meal rather than calling dominoes?

I'm being stupid. I know its a drop in the ocean compared to what some folk are going through on here. He's a twat and I have much more important things to worry about but it's bloody hurtful.

[glasgowstevenagain]

I'll lose the weight but you will always be prat

[glasgowstevenagain]

Or ask for hi to be disciplined

[scarletforya]

Fuck him. He sounds jealous that you're not available. It sounds like sour grapes Op.

He's a dick!

[FunkyBoldRibena]

Grievance love, grievance. No way should you let him get away with this or he will never stop. Invoke the procedure.

[Cookiepants]

It's shit isn't it. When I was 34 weeks pregnant a colleague said in front of everyone "You're going to HAVE to breast feed to get all that off" while looking me up and down with a disgusted look on her face .

She new two things about me;
1: I had a pituitary tumour which makes weight gain easy and weight loss hard.

1. The treatment for said tumor would make extended breast feeding impossible (I only managed 12 weeks).

Her excuse was "she tells it like it is". I have decided to take the high ground and ignore her.
Try and do things for yourself and to feel better rather than worry about what so knob thinks about you.

Enjoy your baby the rest will follow.

[50shadesofknackered]

He us definitely a twat! Op, you must realise that he took such pleasure in saying that to you because he was trying to hurt you! Remember, this was a man who declared he had feelings for you and you didn't want him. Now you have a beautiful son and a dh and he's jealous! Sad little shit! I know it's hurtful but he's a pathetic little nothing so please try not to let it upset you too much. Plus you only had your ds 5 months ago! That's nothing. Please don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself.

[DustBunnyFarmer]

What a dickhead!

When I returned from mat leave after DS1 a touch tubbier our director's PA stopped by my desk one day to ask me if I really thought I should be eating the slice of cake I had in front of me, silly cow.

[Bobbybaby]

That's awful, what an absolute turd. So what, you've had a baby and you've put a bit of weight on, who doesn't? But I'm a person who struggles with weight and frankly obsesses over it so I know that even one comment like that would totally devastate me so I'm sorry he said that.

It does sound like he's still bitter you rejected him so what above said...fuck him! All your work colleagues will forget the comment but they will never forget that he's a twat!

[Hissy]

Well love, he's nailed his shitty colours to the mast hasn't he?

You colleagues recoiled in shock, so they found what he said unacceptable, and it was.

If I were you, the next time you go in, instead of a Keep In Touch day, treat it as a Kick Into Touch day.

Don't socialise with him, only converse with him if a professional necessity, and make it clear that he's made it clear he's a twat and you don't deal with twats.

This is his problem, not yours. Please don't let what one inadequate prick says (because he's jealous) about you spoil anything.

If it was me, i'd let him have that First Shot for Free. But one more comment, i'd put in an official complaint.

(((hug)))

I'm so sorry he made you feel bad. :(

[antimatter]

Just rehearse this and say next time
"...and the point you are making is????"

[Dinnaeknowshitfromclay]

Get back to work and get back at him in other ways. There are ALWAYS other ways .

[bberry]

"Yeah, ok Mr Universe"

[areyoubeingserviced]

When you see him next time be ultra polite.
Don't engage, that will really piss him off.
Please don't waste a minute longer thinking about this tosser .
He is bitter and jealous .

[areyoubeingserviced]

Agree , that if he continues with this behaviour, put in a grievance.

[mammadiggingdeep]

"Yeah I gained a bit of weight. I had a baby. What's the reason you're ugly inside and out??"

[Deathraystare]

Next time he makes any comment about you - good or bad, look at him with obvious disgust and say "Why on earth do you think I am interested in anything YOU say?" then shake your head and walk away.

[bragmatic]

It's not about the weight. You could have been at your pre-pregnancy weight and he'd have found something negative to say.

Glasgow's response is perfect.

[IWillYeah]

Unprofessional, idiotic and cruel.

Be an ice queen with him from now on in. And if he drops any more comments like this, complain to your manager!

[ravenmum]

This has nothing to do with your post-baby shape and everything to do with him being sorry he didn't manage to attract you, and someone else did. After moping about feeling sorry for himself, he's now trying to find reasons why it's a good thing he didn't win you over. If this is the best reason he can come up with, you are clearly quite a catch!

[m0therofdragons]

After I had dd, eventually I lost the weight, returned to work and 5 colleagues individually commented about how tiny my boobs were. Now, when bfing my boob were huge. After weight loss and stopping bfing they went back to original size. Comments were along lines of, "where have your boobs gone?!" Erm I was still a 32dd ffs so not tiny! People are stupid and rude. I would demand an apology.

[kaykayblue]

You need to report his comment to Human Resources. You can give the names of others who were there when he made the comment.

He will be disciplined for it, which is completely right. Also, he will get the chance to see that "jokes" like that are unacceptable.

What a cunt.

[FatherJake]

For god's sake just ignore it. Grievance procedure and reporting to HR for saying that someone has got fat when they've been pregnant? My god is that the world we live in now?

If he'd said it when no baby involved then different story. But given the context his bad joke should just be ignored, made light of or treated with disdain.

[BalloonSlayer]

"Oh yeah, did you ever hear back from Diet Coke? About the advert . . .? "

[picnicbasketcase]

Little laugh and 'Oh dear, have you still not got over that time I rejected you? Poor you.'

Too mean?