I am in a really horrible situation and have nobody in RL to talk to, I'm really hoping I can get some advice here...
I will be honest and I know some people will say they have no sympathy for me at all and I accept this, it's my own fault.
I had an EA with om. I am married with dcs. Prior to the ea, me and dh were barely on speaking terms for some time. I was craving attention and I fell for om. I should have resolved differences with dh first I know this.
Anyway. It got to the stage where I ended up leaving with dcs. I told dh about the om etc. I separated from dh for around 6months. But I couldn't cope and had a complete breakdown. I was on anti depressants and I had to give up my job.
Dh wanted to give our marriage another go and he really helped me back on my feet. He is great with the kids and really looked after me too when I didn't deserve it.
However, it is now almost 4months since I have moved back with dh and I still cannot bring myself to have any physical relationship with him at all. I don't think I love him anymore and I have felt this way for some time, before the om.
Every time he comes near me I step back, I feel claustrophobic. I hate how I feel and I desperately want things to be normal.
Things in the house are awful. There is constant atmosphere and we are not even on speaking terms now. The dcs know things are not right.
Since last week he has been pressuring me to sleep with him. I have told him I need time to get things back to normal, physically and mentally. But he has told me I must sleep with him even if I don't want to as he deserves this. He tried to force me to have sex and I just couldn't do it. He has now told me that I have to leave the house if I cannot have a physical relationship with him.
I know that I did wrong and him taking me back must have been tough for him. But I really thought this could be a new beginning for us and we could rebuild our foundation as friends and go from there.
I know he loves me a lot, and I know how difficult it must be for him, but I can't make myself have sex when I don't want to.
I want to stay for the dcs sake and don't want to disrupt them again but I feel like I'm flogging a dead horse.
I'm really scared of being on my own and being a single mother.... I keep thinking should I let him sleep with me to keep the peace?
Or should I move out and call it a day? I know it's my fault things got to this stage, but even before the EA, things were bad with us, we were sleeping separately and hardly saw each other.
I would really appreciate some advice, I don't know what I should do and how to make things better now.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
No physical relationship with dh-plz help
Nomodrama52 · 27/02/2014 16:12
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