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Relationships

Has anyone ever split up post DC and then got back together?

25 replies

IamstrongerthanMensa · 10/02/2014 20:16

Curious to hear stories both good and bad!

I've always been a never go back kind of person, once bitten twice shy and all that, so I wouldn't normally go back to an ex. But I guess that things are different with DC's so I was hoping that people might share their stories with me? I may or may not find myself having to make this decision at some point so am intrigued to hear some other points of view.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/02/2014 20:31

Things are not necessarily with DCs. DCs can forge their own relationship with separated parents and, even if they have 'Parent Trap' type fantasies, that's really not relevant to the adults.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/02/2014 20:31

'not necessarily different with DCs' that should have said.

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ScottishPies · 10/02/2014 23:31

Iam - how long have you been seperated from dc's dad? And how old are dc's?

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BabylonReturns · 10/02/2014 23:32

Yes, me. Best move ever x

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scoobydoonot · 11/02/2014 00:31

Me too. Worst move ever! Guess it depends a lot on why you split up. Don't kid yourself over the reasons, don't kid yourself he has changed.

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IneedAwittierNickname · 11/02/2014 01:03

Yes me. But we split up again. I will post mire detail tomorrow if you'd like? I'm too tired now.

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ClaraBean · 11/02/2014 01:27

I am interested in this too.
My and dh split a year ago, but neither of us have somebody else, and we are still very close, and hang out and have fun together. I sometimes wonder if we would/should get back together, or if he is thinking of it. He left me, but insists he still loves me, so we will see I guess. I certainly wont be hanging around waiting for him.
If yu got back together, how long were you separated for?

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wallypops · 11/02/2014 02:27

My exh parents did this twice and GE is unbelievably screwed up largely as a result

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wallypops · 11/02/2014 02:28

He not GE

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IamstrongerthanMensa · 11/02/2014 08:09

I'd love to hear some of the stories if people are happy to share?

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IamstrongerthanMensa · 11/02/2014 08:10

Oh, and we've been apart for three months. DD is 7.5 months.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 11/02/2014 08:11

So what you're saying is that you feel an obligation (?) pressure (?) expectation (?) to get back with this person because you have a child together? If there was no baby would you feel the same way?

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IamstrongerthanMensa · 11/02/2014 08:38

No, sorry I'm not saying that at all! I 100% would feel the same way with no DC. I love him for whatever of a fool that makes me.

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ALittleStranger · 11/02/2014 08:47

After three months I'm not even sure you can say you're through the split. If you'd been married people would still be urging you to work at it etc and plenty of people come back from seperations.

I know people who have got back together and it's worked and got back together and it's been a disaster. The latter seems particularly harmful for the kids.

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Redtartanshoes · 11/02/2014 08:54

My ex got back with his exW after we split... They got married (again) lasted about a year.

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maleview70 · 11/02/2014 09:15

When there are millions of other people who may make you happier, I can't see why anyone would want to.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 11/02/2014 09:28

"I may or may not find myself having to make this decision at some point "

Does this vagueness mean you're sitting by the metaphorical phone waiting for the call that says he wants you back? Is he running this show?

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IamstrongerthanMensa · 11/02/2014 09:39

Not in the slightest.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 11/02/2014 09:43

So why 'may or may not'? If the decision is yours, why not make it now?

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IamstrongerthanMensa · 11/02/2014 09:47

Because everything is too confused and raw at the moment. There are several external factors which need to be resolved.

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escape · 11/02/2014 09:50

Hmmmm. It's a definitely a tricky one. I have, and currently I regret it very much. The turmoil being that I knew how awful it would be if it didn't work out ( for the kids ) so really struggled to make the original decision because of this.
No one has a crystal ball...

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IamstrongerthanMensa · 11/02/2014 09:56

That's the problem isn't it escape a crystal ball would make things a lot easier! Sorry to hear things aren't going well.

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FlirtingFail · 11/02/2014 09:59

I did it. It didn't last. But I don't regret it. It gave both of us closure on the relationship, and certainly for me underlined the reasons why we were better apart. We got some counselling which helped me come to the decision to split up again.

We had split up when DC was very small, so I am glad I can look back and say I did all I could to make the relationship work.

We get on well now, DC has a good relationship with both of us and XP has a very nice new partner.

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DCRbye · 11/02/2014 20:28

Same as FlirtingFail here. I would have regretted not trying. I tried and failed.

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lovemenot · 11/02/2014 22:19

We split up before dd was 2. Got back together 5 years later. And now, 8 years later we are separating. Leopards most definitely do not change their spots.

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