I might be losing some of my perspective here, as my judgement is starting to be a bit unreliable. There's a side to my partner of the last 4.5 years I find very hard. He has agreed to go and talk to someone about his "volatility" (he doesn't hit me - this is about his behaviour and the way he talks to me) which is really good, but I guess I'm wondering if I want him to stay anyway. This morning's little exchange ..small fry, but I don't think this is ok. Am I a bit mad? Both sitting at the table at laptops, listening to the news. He asks if he can turn the radio off as he wants to make a phone call. I ask if he can leave it for one minute, as I'm just listening to the item. He looks ticked off, and says he'll go and get changed. He comes back, and walks over and switches the radio off. I'm anxious but say that actually I was just listening to it. (it was still the same item). He ignores me, leaves it off, picks up his phone, and says "Well, you can go and listen to the radio in another room, how about that for an idea". I get up and go into the bedroom, and do as he says. I hate myself for this. I come back, with anger and humiliation boiling away. After a few minutes of phone calls, he says that it was a "bit abrasive" and apologises. I say it was more than that, that it's not ok to speak to me like that. Argument ensues. He blames it on my wanting to listen to the radio when we wants to make a phone call and I don't ask when I switch the radio off. (not true). I say it's the same as me coming up and switching his laptop off when he's using it, because I want to do something else. He doesn't agree with this. I feel half of me is a doormat, and make it worse by doing what he says at moments like that, and half of me is furious at being treated this way. But I think I'm making it worse. I'm sorry, this stuff happens all the time. I'm losing my judgement. I'm going to go and try and talk to someone too, quietly, to see if I can get clarity. I find him utterly horrible at times like this; rude, verbally aggressive, unpleasant to be with. Time to put up and shut up, or am I allowed to dream of punching him on the nose? :) (he's very tall so Id need a chair, but I'm sure I'd find a way!) :)
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