Marriage tips - lighthearted and serious!

[Lairyfights]

I get married in 3 weeks and 2 days! How exciting, DP and I will have been together 5 years. We have our own house and it's our first marriage.

I am excited, but also so nervous - to me marriage represents forever, taking another step, and that is a very big and abstract thought!

So what are your best tips for us?

[WorrySighWorrySigh]

Been married 22 years here. My top tips:

• dont look for rows. Just because you know someone's buttons doesnt mean you have to press them.
  
  
• empathy. This evening I phoned DH from work in close to tears. He listened to me and understood what I needed. He gave me the strength to get through.
  
  
• compromise when it doesnt matter, dont when it does. It is a marriage not a competition.

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

We've only been married 2 months so I don't have any tips but I wanted to wish you luck and say that marriage is fantastic. People will tell you it's just a piece of paper but we both feel different being married and it's great. Enjoy your big day, it goes so fast.

[SocFish]

Be nice to each other.

[Joysmum]

Don't take too much if the threads on here. It's fine to disagree with each other as long as you remember that you person you married is a good person and not suddenly an arsehole because you don't agree. Oh, and disagreeing doesn't mean your not compatible, you can't be all things to him nor him to you.

Good luck x

[Doinmummy]

Don't refer to him as Hubby [Grin]

Have a lovely wedding day

[Doinmummy]

[MildredH]

Agreeing with people above.

I'm married 2 years after 10 together. It does feel different, it's lovely.

Best, simplest advice be nice to one another.

Enjoy & good luck. Xxx

[differentnameforthis]

Married 20yrs

• keep your own friends & interests. You DON'T have to live in each other pockets

• sometimes it is nice to do stuff you don't want to, to make your other half happy. (I am not talking sexually, because that is non negotiable, DO NOT do any thing you don't want to). I am talking about taking about things like day trips. If you love museums & he hates them, it won't kill him to tag along, same if he wants to go to somewhere

• compromise

[joanofarchitrave]

Starting my second marriage, I tried to go by the rule 'don't reject my husband for a newspaper, a book, housework or the telly'.

Surprisingly difficult, I don't always manage it, but I would recommend trying - ultimately, my marriage is more important than the hoovering. 10 years married now so we must be doing something right if not very many things.

[SmallBee]

Congratulations! I hope you have a lovely wedding day.
-sky multi-room has saved a few arguments in our house, DH loves footie & 5 day test match cricket but I can't stand it. It's not fun after a hard day at work to come home to a living room full of sport so it's good to have another place to unwind if I need it.

Don't feel that you have to so every little thing together-having separate bits will at the very least give you something nice to talk about.

If you both work then try & make some time in the evenings without TV/laptops etc, even just 10 minutes to catch up.

[Chottie]

Congratulations - have a wonderful day.

I've been married 39 years (yes, it sounds a long time to me too!!) I would advise never getting out of the habit of doing little things for each other every day. Don't take each other for granted, don't sweat the small stuff, enjoy the moment and have fun. Don't let the sun go down on your anger. Celebrate the special times and pull together when times are tough.

[TomDaleysTrunks]

Don't go to bed on a row. Maintain a sense of humour and laugh together. Be kind. Keep your own interests / hobbies.

[ChanelTunel]

Congratulations on your up-coming wedding
Communication is really important. We've been together for 30 years,and make time every day to talk about anything,or nothing.

[noisytoys]

Don't lose your independence or become reliant on each other. It changes the dynamics of your relationship.