I confirmed my suspicions on Saturday that my DH has met someone. He met her 2 months ago at a conference, and says she is just a friend who is great fun and he can talk to, as they are both unhappy in their relationships. He claims they are just friends, and she is encouraging him to stay with me as we have one young DC and I'm in my last trimester with DC2.
However, they spent the night in her hotel room when they met ("talking, nothing happened"), skype/text during the week as her DP works away Mon-Fri, travelled abroad to where she lives twice to visit (I was away with our DS on one occasion, I assume he told me he was on a business trip the other time). They send each other gifts too, including souvenirs from his business trips (he normally doesn't bring me and DC any), and he has bought books to learn her language.
He has agreed I can talk to her, to confirm they really are just friends, however we will see if this happens. I don't have a problem with him having female friends, and I told him if he had been honest I would have welcomed her into our home. But I feel this behaviour is more like early stage relationship than friendship. I also resent the lying, secrecy and the fact that he taken days off work and spent a lot of money visiting (must be at least £400), rather than spending them with / on his family.
From my POV, if we are to save our marriage, I need to be fully convinced they really are just friends and get complete transparency from him in the future. We do have other issues, but I do think they are things we can overcome if we both work on them and are honest with eachother.
So, here is what I would like to know...
Could you believe they really were just friends, even after talking to her?
What questions would you ask her if you were me?
Would I be unreasonable to demand they stop their friendship? (He has indicated he may not be willing to).
Has anyone been in the same situation and been able to rebuild the trust?
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Relationships
Husband having emotional affair - what to believe and how to move forward
Dazedandconfused2013 · 18/11/2013 06:17
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