Can I ask what the wise MNers would do in this situation? I think it’s creepy and a bit stalkery, but it involves someone who makes me lose all perspective, so I’d love to hear an objective insight.
Apologies if this is long...
Long story short – I met my ex-BF when my DS was 1 and I was just coming out of a very unhappy marriage. Ex-BF completely swept me off my feet. He was funny, charming, creative and amazing in bed (apologies if TMI but I think it affected my ability to see things clearly at the time.) I was so infatuated that I was blind to the fact that he was also lazy, had anger issues, suffered terrible mood swings and was pathologically unable to remain faithful.
If I met someone like that today, the red flags would be screaming out at me within an hour. But back then (15 years ago!) it took me over a year to realise what a terrible situation I was in. In the course of our relationship he was repeatedly unfaithful, dumped me then took me back twice, and although he was never physically violent, there was definitely emotional and verbal abuse. I was often very very scared.
Luckily, I finally managed to pull myself together, get out and move on. (Now happily married to DH with two more kids and DS is a lovely, kind, well-adjusted young man.)
But...in the intervening 15 years ex-BF has made a number of attempts to contact me. He met my 2nd cousin and badgered her for my contact details (which she didn’t give him.) He contacted Facebook friends (not sure how he managed that) and asked them for information. He even emailed my work when I was promoted (he found out because it was in the press).
If you’ve got this far – thankyou. Here is the current situation. I am quite active on twitter – personally and professionally. He has just opened a twitter account and has started following me. He follows 12 people – and I am the first one he followed. The others are all big public accounts (like BBC or Reuters or Barack Obama!). Point is, I was the first account he searched for and the only ‘real’ person he is following. That unnerved me – we’re talking about a relationship that ended over 14 years ago! He then tweeted me to congratulate me on the birth of my twins. I blocked him immediately.
I’m left really shaken. I have a lovely life now, wonderful DH and happy family and I don’t want anything to rock that. I feel a few steps away from being stalked – but definitely along those lines.
Am I over reacting? Is there anything I could/should do? DH is wonderfully supportive – but the confident person he knows is not the messed up frightened person that ex-BF is pursuing – IYSWIM. Would appreciate thoughts – although I realise there is probably nothing I can actually do.
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Relationships
Unwanted contact from ex-BF
19 replies
blessedwolf · 06/11/2013 09:24
OP posts:
ITCouldBeWorse ·
06/11/2013 18:56
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Ava7Susan ·
14/08/2017 01:30
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