Did I really deserve all this? does karma hate me that much?

[Justwakingup]

I posted a while ago because I found out the man I was seeing was seeing someone else. I was suicidal and I had some lovely support on here, I am now on AD's and I have stabalised enough to think a lot less about suicide now. I am waiting for counselling.

Things have stayed bad/got worse since then. I am about to lose my house, I am being pushed out of the family business and have an infection in my ear which has moved to my brain, I dont even know how serious it is yet, I have to go to hospital for an OP tomorrow.

I dont understand why all these horrible things keep happening to me. I used to be such a positive person and I cant see any light at the end of the tunnel at all. Its only my children who are keeping me here, but my ex is now saying that he thinks they should live with him. I think hes probably right.

I spend all my waking hours imagining the man I was seeing with his new love, its been months now and I still think about him all the time, I know I am better without him, but I feel so lonely and low that I just want someone to put their arms around me and tell me that they will be here for me like he used to, even if he didnt really mean it...

[Muststudy]

We have all been at rock bottom Hun and its awful. Take care of yourself, don't blame it on karma dust yourself off and be productive. Be round of how you can deal with this situation, he is obviously an arse.

Take care of yourself so you can fully determine whether you can have the kids, if you concede now you may never get them. But focus on your health first and getting better for them.

Can you push for quicker counselling? Do you work out/stress relieve?

[PublicEnemyNumeroUno]

:( things will get better, so sorry you are in such a bad place right now; but you will get through it and come out the other side a stronger person

Its hard, but please stop torturing yourself with thoughts of him and her, you are only hurting yourself; forget him, he aint worth shit.

Do you have family/friends to support you?

[wakemeupnow]

The spreading ear infection is bound to be making you feel really low. You are probably on antibiotics which can also make you feel depressed. Hopefully the op will help clear it up.
I think you need to just be super kind to yourself whilst your health improves.

[CogitoEerilySpooky]

Newsflash... there really is no such thing as karma. Not in the 'divine justice' sense anyway. All of the things happening to you sound like sheer bad luck rather than payback for anything you might have done wrong.... because that suggests you deserve misfortune which you clearly don't. Glad you're getting medical treatment and sorry you're feeling lonely.