Hello
I fall into the trap of having married a grade 10 * and settled, after divorce, for a grade 4-8 one, depending on his mood of the day. He can be charming and lovely when not in a bad mood.
Our son is at university and we live in the country, so are quite isolated, apart from our dogs. I depend on him financially as my son is only in his first year - I work, unpaid, as my husband's secretary. When DH is cross, he makes jokes about our son's university fees.
DH used to air his Mr Hyde self regularly until he became ill last year. He was beaten as a child. On his recovery we had six months of Dr Jekyll friendliness.
Since June, Mr Hyde has resurfaced with increasing regularity.
One of the problems is the length of time that DH will sulk for, even when he is the one who started a row.
Today, for example, I had forgotten to remind him to deliver a package to his business, meaning that he had to repeat the 1-hour round journey today.
He stayed out in the pub until 4.00pm and then after a few insults went straight to bed, where he remains. I have my study door locked.
When I try to cajole him into coming out of his mood, it makes things worse. He says harsh things and his face contorts.
The problem is that I find it hard to get on with my normal life while these sulks - or punishment as I see it - continue.
I am trying to build a business as a proofreader, but my concentration during these periods is not up to the job.
I also am increasingly having to cancel visits - eg my yoga teacher - if on a day when DH is still in a sulk.
Has anyone been able to convert a Mr Hyde into a Dr Jekyll and if so, how?
All thoughts welcome.
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can you retrain an emotionally abusive DH?
35 replies
olderandbecomingwiser · 28/10/2013 19:30
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