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advice asap

(13 Posts)
ilovesprouts Sun 27-Oct-13 18:16:59

I had a really bad accident feb was seeing a lovely guy for 11 months and not long after we split up and he moved away to find a new job but he told me its was a mistake leaving me , he met someone new but dint work out ,now hes back and we have been meeting up going bowling pics etc we are friends at the mo nothing else hes now txt me to see if he can come and see me at my house and stop over ive said yes but my dd1 always told me if I see him again I wont see any of my grandkids now I don't know what to do im torn in two any advice .confused

Walkacrossthesand Sun 27-Oct-13 18:18:24

If he's so lovely why does your DD dislike him/you seeing him so much?

Strumpetron Sun 27-Oct-13 18:19:38

Why does your DD feel that way?

Before anyone can give advice I think that needs to be expanded upon OP smile

AnyFuckerforanamechange Sun 27-Oct-13 18:19:41

Don't let him stop over. Don't even let him 'visit' you at this stage.

He left you, remember?

cjel Sun 27-Oct-13 18:22:15

I wouldn't pick him over family until you have spent much more time getting to know him.

ilovesprouts Sun 27-Oct-13 19:09:30

my dd dint like him as she thought hed left me wen I had my accident.but that was not the case, my dd dint really speak to him much anyhow. shes 21 and thinks she can blackmail me im not keen on her bf but I keep my mouth shut or they will stop me seeing my grandkids.

Theoldhag Sun 27-Oct-13 19:41:03

How did your dd feel about him before you both split up?

I would be very cautious with him at this point, take your time and listen to your gut instinct.

How do you feel things are with you in general?

Cabrinha Sun 27-Oct-13 19:45:20

Forget the "ASAP" bit of this. Seriously. It's great talking things through on here, but if you're not sure what to do, then don't force yourself into a quick decision. Say no this time. If that puts him off, he isn't worth your time.
That gives you time to make the right decision.
Whether your daughter has a point or not needs further information.

ilovesprouts Mon 28-Oct-13 13:53:14

I don't know why she don't like him he did nothing wrong towards her,shes just a funny onion ,like I sais she thought hed left me wen I had my accident but his mate got him a job down in crewe and it dint work out now hes back home .

glammanana Mon 28-Oct-13 14:57:57

I'd take things slowly this time and say no just now but stay friendly with him and see how things pan out,would your daughter not live with/see her boyfriend if you said you disliked him I think not, and just remind her you are entitled to a life of your own without it affecting the relationship you have with her or your grandchildren.

Unless he is a child abuser, which I think you would have mentioned, your DD is really out of order threatening you with not seeing the GC. She seems to use them as a threat a lot (you also think you won't see them if you say what you think about her BF). Can you talk to her about how it feels to have that threat held over you all the time?

ilovesprouts Mon 28-Oct-13 15:21:31

wen my dd1 was pg I was ment to go to hosp with her wen she was in labour we had fallen out over stuff her fella said etc and I was told im lucky to see my new gd her bf an arse{ my own dad don't like him} he swears all the times spits out of car wen driving and if he needs a wee he will just pull over were ever he his in the car he also calls me fatty hes lots bigger than me don't know what she sees in him :/ but I have to keep my mouth shut or I don't get to see my grandkids .

ilovesprouts Sat 02-Nov-13 09:17:16

update ... he came over to talk my dd and her fella was coming down the road at the same time my ex got out of taxi ,my dd sat in the car and her fellla got out and gave my ex lots of abuse totally uncalled for he also told me I cant see the kids again he always doing that , had enuff now sadangry

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