Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Shagaholic.com

(32 Posts)
Shagaholic Wed 23-Oct-13 19:18:35

Dh didn't shut his email down
And some other fuckforalifetime bollocks

There were no chats or messages sent, really basic package, had to upgrade to send messages

I forwarded emails to myself, but they turned up blank
Then the pc jammed so had to shut down and so lost his emails

Ds and mil were around so I didn't get much info

So I have no evidence of anything
His mum is here from abroad for another week
And he's away til Sunday

Wtf do I do
I've had enough of his behaviour anyway, but this is the push I need, but no evidence now

meekenough Thu 24-Oct-13 12:35:47

Do you have a camera/phone you can use take photos of the screen?

ChuffMuffin Thu 24-Oct-13 11:30:20

The website mammadiggingdeep is thinking of is www.pipl.com

I'm sorry you're going through this sad

Shagaholic Thu 24-Oct-13 11:24:58

His isn't spam
He signed up, he might not have responded to anything, but he did log on and registered

There's not much more investigating I can do right now
He's back at the weekend, then I'm going to my parents next week
Not that keen on leaving him alone, but I'm still going
Will address it all after that I think
See if he uses the pc when I'm away
I'm more it savvy than him, but he probably knows enough to cover his tracks
Intuanua- thanks for the offer, I do have a cleaning program on there, I think I've cleaned it up ok. That needed doing anyway.
I'm going to name change back now, so will leave this for a while
Thanks all

alphacourse Thu 24-Oct-13 08:56:18

Sorry - it isn't spam, as much as you would like it to be. Have you googled his username?

PamDooveOrangeJoof Thu 24-Oct-13 08:43:11

When my husband signed up to Adultwork, the email said at the bottom 'this is not spam. You will be receiving this as you are a registered member and have agreed to be contacted by email'. Or something like that. Have a look at the bottom of the emails he was sent.
I agree with others. Buse your time, watch and wait. Confronting usually just makes them better at hiding stuff.

Shagaholic Thu 24-Oct-13 08:14:34

Not sure
I think they could get spam messages
But I don't see how they can have a profile with correct dob etc

noslimbody Thu 24-Oct-13 02:41:39

OK, I found messages on h's computer from shagoholic and he claimed it was spam. I didn't really believe him, but didn't have anything to say.
So he is definitely lying then?
Sorry for thread hijack OP

InTuaNua Wed 23-Oct-13 23:03:13

Shagaholic - I don't know where you are in the country - but if you're anywhere close Surrey/Berkshire, I'd be more than happy to help sort out the machine (it's kind of what I do workwise).

BitOutOfPractice Wed 23-Oct-13 22:56:24

Yes he will deny deny deny. My exDP even when I actually handed over a print out of his profile. Patently his postcode was heaving with men of the same age, height (very unusual), nationality (very unusual), name (very unusual) who had stolen a picture of his cock confused

I'm so sorry you're facing this crock of shit op. I feel for you, I really do

awakemysoull Wed 23-Oct-13 22:50:25

There are hundreds of porn sites that he could go on for a wank.

Don't blame yourself.

These sites are for finding others to have casual sex with.

I understand that some men get a kick out of looking at local profiles and chatting etc behind their partners back, but it's awful he is doing this and I am so angry for you

Coolforcatz Wed 23-Oct-13 22:33:53

Go to internet options, it's in there.

Shagaholic Wed 23-Oct-13 22:29:29

It's feasible that he logged on to have a wank
I know it's pathetic, but we had had a number of interrupted sessions before I went away, so he didnt finish so to speak!

That will be his excuse, guaranteed.

God, I'm glad I name changed

I've been v unhappy for a while

How am I going to clean up this pc?

Coolforcatz Wed 23-Oct-13 22:23:17

If it logged straight in then he hasn't logged out after his last session. It doesn't mean he was on it today.

Check your computers history, especially the cookies (temporary internet files) as they definitely haven't been deleted.

NachoAddict Wed 23-Oct-13 22:22:35

Sorry to hear that. I would be so angry that he used the computer your son uses.

if you confront him now he will deny it all, can you bear to keep quiet and collect evidence?

mammadiggingdeep Wed 23-Oct-13 22:15:27

Sorry sad

What are you thinking? What do you want to do now?

Shagaholic Wed 23-Oct-13 22:11:24

He registered the weekend I was away, 2 weeks ago
Just going from the emails
I can't find any history within his profile
He doesn't really use this pc, that's why I'm surprised
Ds uses it, that makes me feel sick

awakemysoull Wed 23-Oct-13 22:06:06

Is it possible he only signed up today? What date were the emails?

If it logged. You straight in it means he's been on it today and not logged out or cleared the history

Check the history

Shagaholic Wed 23-Oct-13 21:53:02

Just typed in the fuckbook website and it logged him straight in
And I have had about 8 chat requests, some video!!

That would suggest he's logged on from this pc, yes?
Fucker
There is nothing sent and not even any profiles/photos viewed

He is down there as single , looking for fun

awakemysoull Wed 23-Oct-13 21:52:47

Also - I completely agree with mamadiggingdeep - they will deny even when you have the proof in front of them.

Gather as much as you can without letting on you know. Even if you don't go as far as arranging a meet with him you will still have messages and stuff to confront him with.

He can talk his way out of this at the moment but once you have chatted to him etc he won't have a leg to stand on..

After you have confronted him it's up to you what you do. If you want to work at your relationship then it's possible but it takes a lot of work on both sides.

I know, I've been through this

awakemysoull Wed 23-Oct-13 21:50:14

I'm sorry you found this your head must be all over the place.

My recently ex dp was the master of this. Every single site you can think of he was on. Idiot used his own name and had his pic as profile pics so I knew it was him.

I registered as a user, arranged to meet him and his face was a picture when he turned up to find me standing there fuming.

Best thing you can do if you really suspect he is using these sites properly (they can pop up from porn sites and link to his email if he is a member of any porn sites) Is keep quiet, keep your eyes and ears open, make a profile using a new email address and start to message him. It won't take you long to find him just pop in your postcode and off you go.

These sites really are disgusting so be brave when ignoring the disgusting messages you will get. The sites are filled with desperate men and as soon as a female logs on they are jumped on

mammadiggingdeep Wed 23-Oct-13 21:10:52

sad sorry...

There is a website that you can put an email address into and it will tell you what sites that email is used on....I don't the name of if, can't remember but somebody will know it....

What I will also say (from bitter experience) is that unless you have done hard evidence they STILL deny. Even if you describe what you saw and you KNOW it was them they deny. If you can get back on there, please print out, take pics, whatever. If you don't and they deny you end up feeling crazy.

Good luck and I'm sorry you're going through this sad

daisywaisydoo Wed 23-Oct-13 21:07:48

Exactly the same situation the other week! But about 6 different sites. No advice sorry as he'd also not sent messages or upgraded. Still hurts though! I'd check his profile when you can and go from there.

cjel Wed 23-Oct-13 21:03:48

AAAAh Well I hope it wasn't him thensmile!!

Shagaholic Wed 23-Oct-13 20:50:36

He's 6 cjel!

cjel Wed 23-Oct-13 20:13:32

How old is ds? it couldn't be him could it?x

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now